Unalloyed Romance
by Misanthropic Yuri Writer
Summary: Unalloyed romance is a pure romance that is complete and unreserved, no connections binding the two people together simply a romance created out of pure love... ANYHOW, I love KotoEri so much! One of the most rare but pure LL! Ships. So please enjoy the scenarios that I write that lead up to the "Unalloyed Romance" that Kotori and Eri create
1. шитье

Just another quiet evening, the laughs of fellow school mates ready to get themselves back to their homes or other activities with their friends and the sound of many clubs preparing themselves for their club activities, but as always the sound of my fingers typing themselves away on the keyboard of my laptop filled the student council room.

"Mmm... With me now being a member of μ's I feel like I have more work cut out for me."

Yes it was not too long ago that thanks to the efforts of Kousaka Honoka and the members of μ's that I finally lightened up to the idea that we could all save Otonokizaka as the School Idol group, μ's. Even if the life of a School Idol is a small hint of the life of a true idol, I still feel like the responsibility carried upon all of our shoulders is a little much, but as always the optimistic aura carried around by μ's always gives me a reassurance that everything will be perfectly fine.

"And anyways, in the eyes of the others I am the "Cute and Clever Erichika" right?"

Geh, I can't believe I said that out loud...

Brushing my bangs away from my forehead I then do a light sigh while staring at the outside of the student council room's window.

The vivid orange that the evening sun gave off to the Earth was majestic but also the feeling of your face to be greeted by the gentle wind could almost make anybody go into a peaceful nap.

"Ah, how nice would it be to have a nap but I have to finish this report before I leave so I guess I could hold that off."

Sometimes I worry myself that my duty as the Student Council president will conflict with my activities as a member of μ's but I can't allow myself to be in that mindset. I don't want to disappoint anybody and most of all I would hate it if our efforts to save Otonokizaka would fail.

Slapping my cheeks, I pump myself up so that I can get this report finished and head home immediately. Since the more time I give myself at home, the more time I can give myself a proper rest so that I can flourish in all my activities.

"There~"

Giving myself a pat on the back for finally finishing the report I had to make for student council, I then close my laptop and get ready to leave.

"Hmm?"

My joy of finally achieving my ticket of going home was greeted by a clumsy deed, which was very unfitting of myself.

"Ha... I forgot my bag in the club room..."

Well it's not a terrible thing but for far as I know everyone else would have gone home during this time so it would be quite likely that the club room would be locked and I would have to wait tomorrow to grab my bag.

"But carrying around my laptop by hand would be a little..."

Yeah and not to mention I had homework to do for tonight and being tardy on work is something that I don't want ruining the image that I have gotten from everyone all this time.

Grabbing all my belongings and locking the student council room, I then head to μ's club room hoping either it's not locked or someone is still there, wait actually it would be better if no one was there since it would be nice if no one saw me making a clumsy mistake like this.

"Ha, especially someone like Umi or Niko..."

Umi is just somebody you wish to never disappoint, Niko would probably make fun of me for making such a clumsy mistake and that would be annoying as hell.

Well if I had to choose the person who would be in the club room to witness such a clumsy mistake I would choose Kotori, since well she's a very understanding person and at least she's not like most of the energetic or serious members of μ's

"Not like that would happen though..."

Doing a large sigh I know for sure that it's going to be Niko since she is the President of the Idol Research Club and she practically owns the club room.

As I reach the door of the club room, I take in a deep breath preparing myself for an endless amount of annoying laughs to be brought upon my clumsy mistake by the devilish Yazawa Niko.

Seeing if the door to the club room is unlocked, I can only hope that someone forgot to lock the door or the worst result Niko is just waiting to inflict her teasing upon me...

Turning the knob only hoping that no one is there, I then see the person that is inside is not my worst fear but the person I hoped that would actually be there?...

"Ah, Eri-chan did you need something?"

I am then greeted by the warm smile of Minami Kotori.

"Whoa, way to go fate."

Kotori gazing at me with a confused expression I then realize I said that out loud.

But no really, way to go fate. Like it actually would have been better if no one was here to witness my clumsy mistake but if it's Kotori I can be reassured that she will not notice anything and I can peacefully move on with my life.

"Ah Eri-chan, did you come back to grab your bag?"

UGH! Even if it was meant to be harmless seeing Kotori ask me that with her usual smiling expression I feel like this is worst than having Niko make fun of me...

"Yeah... I forgot it when we finished our meeting... Such a clumsy thing to do for a person like me huh?"

Getting a little depressed because of Kotori finding out my clumsy mistake I now feel like the image of the "Cute and Clever Erichika" that Kotori has had of me ever since meeting me along with the others has been shattered.

But the response that Kotori gives me is surprising.

"Don't worry Eri-chan, I understand that you're a busy person so you probably forgot it because you needed to do your Student Council work as soon as the meeting was over right?"

Minami Kotori, she's considered a bit of an airhead but the most kind kindhearted member of μ's, always caring for the feelings of others, even sometimes putting those feelings in front of hers... I am truly glad that she was the one to witness such a clumsy mistake like this.

Doing a small sigh of relief along with a small smile I then take a glance at the club room's table, all I see is a bunch of fabric and cloth along with some sewing tools.

"Kotori what are you doing?"

From what I saw and what I know about Kotori, she is the Costume designer of μ's, for all this time she's been designing and creating all the costumes μ's has worn for all of their performances, and even the very first costume I got to wear when I performed with μ's for the first time. I knew that it was the dream of a lot of girls to become idols and go up on stage and wear cute costumes but I remembered the warmth and the feeling that was in the costume I wore. I knew that Kotori put all her feelings when creating the costumes we wore but now that I see her in the process of making it... I guess I'm a little curious.

"Ah, I was just getting ready to make some costumes that I designed not too long ago for out next performance! Umm... Would you like to watch?"

Kotori asks me with a bit of eagerness in her expression.

I guess no one is really around to watch Kotori do the process of creating our costumes. I already became curious myself of how she does it but more of all... I want to witness the feeling she puts into doing it.

"I would love to!"

"Thank you!"

Kotori and I both shared warm smiles to one another during that moment, grabbing myself a seat but also making sure to once and for all fix my clumsy mistake by grabbing my bag and putting away all my belongings, Kotori does a small giggle a little embarrassed I then finally take a seat and watch Kotori grab a cloth and needle, she then began to sew.

The very sight of how Kotori was carefully sewing with the needle and thread through the piece of fabric, the peacefulness and care that I saw on her face was very calming but also nostalgic...

"Umm... Eri-chan?"

"Mmm?"

"Is there something I'm doing wrong? Since you've been staring at me with so much focus..."

Kotori blushes in embarrassment while putting down her needle and thread.

Damn I never knew that I was staring at her THAT intently but I just can't shake off this feeling of nostalgia. The care and feeling that Kotori was putting while sewing it was almost like...

"A-ah sorry... It's just that I used to quilt a lot when I was child with my grandmother when we were living in Russia... so I guess the reason I was staring at you like that was because of... nostalgia..."

Well that was half the reason, even if sewing isn't fully the same as quilting, the two are relatives, and it's just that the care and warmth that I saw on Kotori's face reminded me of the times when I was living with my Grandmother in Russia, and the times when she and me quilted...

"I see..."

I then see Kotori pondering a bit.

Damn I knew it, even if I had a reason like that I guess it is really awkward to stare so intently at a person huh?

"Ah! Eri-chan!"

In immediate excitement Kotori claps her hands together and does a cheerful giggle.

"Want to sew with me?"

A little surprised by Kotori's request, I'm a little hesitant but what is my hesitation for? Sure quilting and sewing are not completely the same but if you have the basics to doing one of them I believe you could do the other... Well I guess it's time for me to put my so called title of the "Cool and Cute Erichika" to the test!

"Sure!"

I say with a cheerful smile to Kotori.

But honestly I'm hoping that my theory that sewing and quilting are like close relatives is true, since it would be very embarrassing if Kotori saw me being so foolish but I'm also hoping that it is really true since... It would be nice to share this kind of moment with anybody.

I don't really know how much time has passed but I feel like it's been a while. All I know for sure is that I have immersed myself with pulling my needle through the thread, and I don't even bring it upon myself that my theory that quilting and sewing are like close relatives since all the movements that I make come naturally, and this moment just exactly feels like the times I would quilt with my grandmother...

Sadly my immersion into nostalgia would make me unaware of so many other things, like the person who was in front of me.

"Ow!"

I am immediately then pulled back into reality when I hear Kotori releasing a voice of pain.

"Kotori are you all right?!"

Getting up from my seat to see if Kotori's all right, I see that she has pinched herself with her needle, which is a little surprising since it's a little unexpected that Kotori would ever hurt herself while sewing.

"Yeah, I'm fine... It's just a small cut..."

Kotori says with a small giggle.

I know that giggle is just to laugh it off but even if it is a small cut she's bleeding I have to do something...

"But you're bleeding!"

"Ah... don't worry I'll go grab a bandage..."

Even back then when I was quilting with my grandmother back in Russia, I accidentally cut myself because my mind would wander off, and she always had a method to take care of the small cuts I always got.

"Kotori wait!"

"Huh, what is it Eri-chan?"

Grabbing Kotori's attention, I then take her hand a place her injured finger into my mouth.

"E-E-E-E-ERI-CHAN?!"

Ha ha ha... Even I would be shocked if someone did this to me, but I actually feel a little guilty to why Kotori got injured since if maybe if I wasn't here to disturb her this wouldn't have happened...

Finally I take out Kotori's injured finger from my mouth I do a small smile along with a sigh,

"My grandmother always did that whenever I pinched myself whenever we were quilting but I'll grab a bandage to cover up the cut."

Once I get up I can see Kotori nodding with a red face.

Agh... I knew that was too awkward but still...

Grabbing a bandage from one of the shelves in the club room, I then apply the bandage to Kotori's injured finger pat on it with a smile "There you go, good as new!"

"T-thank you... Eri-chan..."

I can still see that Kotori is very flustered..

"Kotori, I'm really sorry!"

Bowing my head in apology, Kotori is immediately surprised by my sudden apology.

"Eri-chan? Why are you apologizing?"

"It's my fault why you got injured... If I was not here I wouldn't have disturbed you and you wouldn't have gotten injured..."

It's true, Kotori always worked alone while preparing are costumes, sure sometimes Niko would help her but eventually Kotori would be left alone to take care of the rest and she would have nobody to disturb her so this was my fault...

"It's not Eri-chan."

I can then feel Kotori's hand patting my head.

"Kotori?"

"It's actually my fault why I got injured, since well... When you were sewing it was so beautiful that I kinda got immersed into that image..."

What?... Really? I was sewing that nicely that even Kotori got immersed into it?... Oh no... Now I can feel my face becoming red with embarrassment and not only me, I can see that Kotori is also very embarrassed from saying all of that...

"Thank you so much Kotori... It makes me really happy to hear that. Because honestly I loved the time we sewed together since it reminded me of the times I would quilt with my grandmother in Russia. So I guess, thanks for letting me relive a precious memory."

There's no need to stay in this awkward atmosphere, if Kotori really meant what she said that would mean I never forgot how it felt like to quilt with my grandmother. Ha ha ha, even if it wasn't really quilting I felt that.

I can then see the usual cheerful expression that Kotori always had returning.

"No problem, Eri-chan!"

The two of us then finish up with the pieces we were sewing, after some time passed Kotori then decided that she would finish the rest by herself. Agreeing I then finally get ready to leave.

"Thank you for helping me Eri-chan!"

Kotori says to me cheerfully.

I then nod and give her a smile.

"We're fellow members aren't we? Also thanks to that experience I got to relieve precious memories..."

Well obviously I would help Kotori, she is a fellow μ's member, so basically whenever she needs help I'll always be there to help her.

"Fellow members huh..."

I then hear Kotori mumbling something, not sure what it was I then ask her.

"Hmm? Did you say something Kotori?"

Kotori shakes her head flustered and laughs cheerfully,

"N-no it was nothing! Anyways see you tomorrow Eri-chan!"

Nodding a little confused because of Kotori's answer I then do a small smile.

"Sure thing! See you tomorrow Kotori!"

The two of us waving goodbye, I then leave the club room heading back home.

But still I ponder over what Kotori said back there, but when I saw her mumbling those words she looked a little sad...

"Maybe I should help Kotori out a little more..."

Yes, I should since Kotori usually does everything alone, but even though I should still be there to help her since I am her fellow member but also hopefully her friend...

Doing a small giggle I then pump myself up.

"Also because I am the "Cute and Clever Erichika!"

Ugh, I still can't believe that I get pumped up from that, but don't worry hopefully one day me and Kotori can become more than fellow members, since it's thanks to her that I got to relive such a precious memory and also...

"She's kinda cute when she gets flustered..."

Doing a small giggle after remembering the sight of a red faced flustered Kotori. I then finally head home just like I would have done if I didn't do the clumsy mistake of leaving my school bag in the club room, but maybe it's thanks to that clumsy mistake that it would create the birth of something that I would have never thought that would have exist if it wasn't for it...


	2. Тепло

It was another usual practice session for all of us in μ's, Umi-chan was being her usual strict self like always directing it to Honoka-chan, even though her shy personality would conflict with it, Maki-chan along with Hanayo-chan and Rin-chan practiced the choreography of our new song together, and as usual Nozomi-chan threatened to give Niko-chan her special "Washi Washi" if she forgot to hand in the homework that they got in their classroom tomorrow.

Breathing in the fresh afternoon air, I as always would practice near the fence during break, enjoying the lively sight of my fellow members practicing but something was off today...

Turning my gaze to Eri-chan, whenever μ's had break during practice sessions, she would always be getting ready for the new choreography that she would then show the rest of us so that we could practice it but today I see the sight of a heavy breathing Eri seeming to be in a daze. I'm honestly a little worried since this was a very unusual sight to see Eri-chan in.

The concern that I had for Eri-chan overcoming the thought of not wanting to disturb her, I then approach her.

"Eri-chan are you fine?"

Eri-chan hearing the concern in my voice immediately makes herself return to her usual state and nods to me with a small smile.

"I'm fine... Thank you for your concern though, Kotori."

I may seem like a bit of an airhead but I for one know that the smile which Eri-chan made to me was a forced one.

I can see that she is more tired than usual but also that there's a lot of sweat on her face and neck. Even if we all did work up a sweat whenever we practiced this was a little too much even for a μ's practice session so I'm not convinced that Eri-chan is "fine!"

I then immediately place my forehead to Eri-chan's forehead to take her temperature, Eri-chan surprised by my sudden action then flustered says,

"K-Kotori?!"

Mmm I knew she wasn't fine... Her temperature is a little high. Can she have a fever? But even if she did why did she not even consider taking a break from today's practice and go home to get a good night's rest?

Ignoring that question for now, I then remove my forehead from Eri-chan's forehead and grab the still flustered Eri-chan's hand and walk up to Umi-chan.

"Umi-chan, I'm going to be taking Eri-chan to the nurse's office."

Umi surprised by my words then diverts her attention away from scolding Honoka-chan for bringing snacks during break.

"What?! Is Eri all right?!"

I can see the worry on Umi-chan's face, since Eri-chan was supposed to help her get the rest of the choreography that μ's was supposed to practice get ready.

"She's fine, just a little tired."

Holding back my words and not saying that she may actually have a fever, since I knew Umi-chan was the type to overreact sometimes.

Umi-chan then does a sigh of relief, glad that Eri-chan's condition is nothing serious she then ponders a bit.

"Tired hmm... I guess we'll just have to leave the rest of today's practice for tomorrow. Okay everyone! Practice is over for today!"

Umi-chan then tells everyone that practice is over for today, Honoka-chan along with Rin-chan and Niko-chan obviously very happy do a small cheer since they finally can go home and enjoy the rest of the day.

Me along with Eri-chan then start walking down to the roof's door so that I can take Eri-chan to the nurse's office, Eri-chan then speaks quietly to me.

"Thank you for being concerned Kotori, but... I could have made it to the end of practice."

I then pout upon hearing Eri-chan's words, Eri-chan was always to type to put a serious diligent front whenever it came down to her activities as a school idol and the student council president, but I for one have seen that sometimes Eri-chan can make mistakes (cute ones at that...)

"Eri-chan rest is the most important thing when it comes down to doing things right?"

I then hear Eri-chan doing a small giggle upon hearing my response, I guess even Eri-chan knows that is the most important rule when it comes down to doing almost anything.

"I guess you're right..."

Cheerfully giggling at Eri-chan, I then take Eri-chan down to the nurse's office.

* * *

"Here you go Eri-chan, they always say that warm milk can make someone have a good night's rest!"

Once I brought Eri-chan done to the nurse's office, I got her to settle done into one of the beds and tried to bring in methods that I would use to fall asleep immediately.

A little cliched but I just wanted Eri-chan to get some rest...

"Thank you so much Kotori... Just taking me down here would have been enough but taking care of me as well?"

Eri-chan grabs the glass of warm milk from my hands then thanks me with a small smile.

Eri-chan was always the modest type when it came down to others doing things for her sake, but she really needs to know that they are people who care for her and wouldn't just stand around and do nothing if something was wrong with her.

"Well it just matters that everyone in μ's is feeling okay right?"

Eri-chan then takes a small sip of the warm milk I made for her, doing a small satisfied smile probably because she noticed the bit of sugar I put into it she then sighs while putting the glass of warm milk on a desk which was beside the bed.

"Yes, that was always true, since if one of us was to suddenly be in a bad condition it would put our whole dream of making it into Love Live! fail..."

Geez Eri-chan... That's not what I meant at all, she really needs to stop putting her duties in front of her and loosen up a little since if she was always like that no one would ever see how cute she can really be!

Doing a small pout at Eri-chan to show my dissatisfaction with her answer I then lecture her a bit~

"Eri-chan, that isn't it at all! Sure Love Live! Is important, but you being happy and healthy is the number one most important thing of all!"

I just hear Eri-chan do a small laugh at my lecture.

Muu... Is it that strange for someone like me lecturing somebody?

Eri-chan then clears her throat then does a sigh showing stress, honestly I am very worried to why Eri-chan was feeling so tired today. It's so unusual for her to be like this, I want to find out so I can help her out next time and make sure that this doesn't happen again.

"Eri-chan, why were you so tired today?"

I try my best to put all my concerns into my question, since I really want to help Eri-chan. I know Eri-chan is they type of person to do all of her activities no matter what but still... She can't just keep on doing everything by herself...

As I keep on thinking about these things to myself, Eri-chan finally does a sigh and reveals to my why she was so tired today.

"Well... A lot of work in the student council has piled up and well... μ's will be having one of their biggest performances soon, so I want to make sure that the choreography for it will be the best yet and well I kind of mixed both together and last night I didn't sleep too well..."

I knew it, Eri-chan why do you always have to be like this? Sure even I would put all my effort into making sure that are next performance will be a huge success but even so...

"Eri-chan, you still need to get a good night's rest though..."

Eri-chan just does a small chuckle to my response, muu... Is she still not taking me seriously?

"I'm sorry, you're right... Once again I show you such an unfitting sight of myself... I'm just really glad that it's you that gets to see me make such a clumsy mistake again..."

Eh?... Geez! Eri-chan flattery isn't going to get you off the hook! But still... I'm kinda glad that Eri-chan is happy that I'm the only one that gets to see her whenever she's clumsy...

"What about you Kotori? Aren't you tired?"

While I still continue to ponder on the thoughts in my head, I am brought back by Eri-chan's question.

"Eh? Me tired? Why?"

"Well, you do make our costumes right? So I was thinking maybe you too would pull all-nighters to get those costumes finished up."

Eri-chan... She's concerned about me too? Geez, why does she have to do this? I really want to focus all the attention on her condition but I guess I can give her an answer which would lighten up the mood...

Shaking my head in disagreement I then put on my usual cheerful expression.

"I make sure to always sleep 8 hours!"

Eri-chan just laughs at my response, I'm glad I lightened the mood and made Eri-chan smile again but her laugh kinda felt like she was teasing me...

"You're really amazing Kotori."

Eri-chan then does a sincere smile at me, her sapphire blue eyes showed a glint of content in them, I then become a little surprised and flustered.

"Eri-chan?..."

"You make all our costumes from your image and then when you finally work on it, the finished product is really amazing... Like you're even more amazing than me..."

W-what is she saying?... Why does my face feel so hot?... Why is my heart beating so much?... I've been complimented by many others before but why... Why does Eri-chan's compliment make me so embarrassed but really happy at the same time?...

Trying to not make eye contact with Eri-chan, Eri-chan then looks at me with a worried expression.

"Kotori? Are you all right?"

"A-ah, sorry I was a just a little..."

Returning back to my senses, I then ponder on my current feelings.

What was with that?... Like I could have sworn during that moment, if my eyes met with Eri-chan's that my heart would burst... Oh no... Could have Eri-chan actually had a cold and I caught it?...

I then hear Eri-chan giggling and giving me a smile.

"I'll be taking my rest then heading home, so you should get going Kotori."

Just nodding after Eri-chan finished her sentence, Eri-chan seems to have noticed how red my face was, feeling a bit concerned Eri-chan asks me if I'm really all right.

"Eh? Kotori did I actually have a cold and you caught it too? Hmm... Well there's some space in this bed for two..."

In that moment I could almost feel that my face became red as a beet...

W-W-W-WHAT IS SHE SAYING?! GEEZ! Eri-chan, why did she have to say that?! I knew it! She was teasing me all along!

Doing a small pout and grabbing my belongings before I head home I then tell Eri-chan that I'll see her tomorrow

"I-I-I'm fine! See you tomorrow Eri-chan!"

Running out of the nurse's room making sure that Eri-chan wouldn't see how red my face was, I then do a small frustrated yell.

"W-W-Why did she have to say all of that?!"

Sure Eri-chan was always the type to sometimes be flirtatious even though she didn't mean it and thanks to that she got the nickname of the "Cute and Clever Erichika" but still...

"She has to know... Some people can't take that..."

While trying to understand all these complicated feelings that flowed through me I realized that I forgot to tell Eri-chan something important.

"Ah... I forgot to tell her next time if she has too much work to tell me and I would help her right away..."


	3. помощь

Maybe it's because that some people in history who have made an unexpected mistake and having it lead up to the creation of something totally unexpected, that people in this age sometimes welcome random unexpected mistakes to "spice" up their daily lives...

I for one, have always strive for the image of a perfect role model. Even if I knew I was not a perfect person and can make clumsy mistakes now and then, recently... I guess you could say that I welcome those unexpected mistakes now.

It was not too long ago that thanks to the unexpected mistake that I made of leaving my school bag in the club room after μ's had a meeting, that me and a fellow member of mine, Minami Kotori, started to get to know one another.

I believe if it wasn't for that clumsy mistake I made, I think me and Kotori would still just be fellow members to one another. .

But I'm happy that I made those clumsy mistakes, since it led up to me learning about Kotori even more.

Even though I do strive for the image of a perfect role model, I guess you could say... I'm only willing to show Kotori the side of me that makes mistakes.

"Eri-chan, do you need me to do any more papers for you?"

Returning back to reality, I nod at Kotori and pass her a few sheets of paper.

"Yes, thank you very much Kotori, at this pace we'll be done in no time!"

After making a little too many clumsy mistakes that would shatter the perfect role model image that everybody has had of me so far, Kotori and I decided that whenever the one of us needed help in anything, that each one of us would help the other no matter what.

I believe you can call this a friendship, but even so, I'm glad that the both of us have become more than fellow members now.

Today I had a lot of worked piled up at the student council, even though I knew that I could have been able to finish it all by myself, I kept in mind the agreement that me and Kotori made.

I'm glad that I decided to do this with Kotori, even though being an airhead, she is a hardworking smart girl that gets everything done to the end, but what makes me even more happy is the fact that now the both of us can focus on the huge live that μ's will be holding at the school's roof not too long from now.

Taking a glance at Kotori, who reads each individual sheet with keen focus, I then notice something is different about Kotori today.

Not wanting to disturb her right now and wanting to get this work done quickly as we can, I then put my focus back into finishing the rest of student council's work.

After some time passed, the teamwork that me and Kotori put together finally payed off and we finished the student council's work faster than expected.

"Ah~ I'm so happy that we finished all of this quickly! Now we can focus on μ's big live."

Doing a sigh of relief and giving a thumbs up to Kotori, she the nods at me with a smile, but something was different about the smile she gave me, it wasn't cheerful and "pure" like the smile she always made, it gave off a hint that something was bothering her and that worried me a bit.

Trying to come up with a way to try to find out what was the thing that was bothering her, I then come up with a plan.

"Ah Kotori, do you have anything that you want me to help you with today?"

"Eh, me? Umm..."

Kotori then starts pondering over something which I can help her with.

Sure the actual reason why I wanted to help her was because I was worried about her, but it was also a way of me repaying her for helping me out complete the large amount of work that I had to complete for the student council before tomorrow.

"Please if you do, it would make me really happy. Since I really wish to repay you for helping me out today."

Kotori continues to ponder until she finally makes a small smile.

"Then can you come with me and tell me how the final designs for our new costumes are?"

What? She only wants that? I feel a little disappointed at the request she gave me, since I for one know that if Kotori has finally came up with the final designs for our new costumes she wouldn't need my opinion. Since no matter what I already know that they're going to be perfect.

The bit of dissatisfaction that I had for Kotori's request shows on my face a bit, I then see Kotori making a small frown.

What am I even hesitating for? Is it because I believe the request that Kotori gave me isn't even near repaying her for all the help that she gave me today? But I can't let myself think like that or else I'll make Kotori sad and for one other thing... I'm worried about her today.

Taking a small breath, I then release it with a small smile and nod at Kotori.

"Sure, I would love to check out the final designs of our new costumes."

Upon hearing my answer, Kotori's expression lit up, she then gives me a cheerful expression.

"Thank you so much. Eri-chan!"

Kotori and me then share warm smiles to one another.

I'm really glad that my guilt for this request didn't overcome my reason for wanting to know what was bothering Kotori. Since sure I feel guilty that her request wouldn't pay her back for half of what she has helped me with, but it looked like she was really happy when I agreed to help her.

* * *

Kotori and me then left the school together, Kotori already had the final designs in the sketchbook which she had in her bag.

I wonder where she plans on taking me anyway? Since she could have simply showed me the designs in the student council room. Wait... Does she plan on taking me to her house?

Feeling a hint of red forming on my cheeks, I then see Kotori give me a worried glance.

"Eri-chan, are you okay?"

Trying my best to straighten my expression again, I then nod at Kotori reassuring her not to worry.

"Ah, don't worry Kotori. I just had something on my mind."

Kotori doing a small smile, showing that she's glad that I'm all right. I continue to ponder over where Kotori might be taking me.

Sure it was her request but if she does take me to her house, we're still simply friends, and new ones at that. So taking me to her house which she's only allowed her childhood friends, Umi, and Honoka visit is a little unsettling...

As me and Kotori continued to walk along the sidewalk. I still continue to ponder over where Kotori was taking me, finally the eagerness that I had to finding out where Kotori was taking me, overcame me.

"Kotori, can I ask you something?"

Kotori then turns her gaze to me with a questioned expression,

"Hmm? What is it Eri-chan?"

I was a little nervous to ask her to be honest, since if I was asking her where she was taking me and her answer was her home, it would create an awkward atmosphere between us... Well I guess I would be the one to create that awkward atmosphere.

"Where are we going?"

Ignoring all those thoughts, I then ask her the question that has been in my mind all along. Since if we were going to her house that would make me a little happy since that would prove that me and Kotori are really friends... Even if we already are friends, that would show Kotori trusts me...

"Umm... We're going to the cafe I used to work at."

Upon hearing Kotori's answer I then do a small frown, obviously making sure Kotori wouldn't see it, since I don't want to add more to the problem that may be bothering her.

The answer Kotori gave me, "The Cafe I used to work." makes me a little surprised to find out Kotori doesn't work there anymore, but I keep that question at the back of my mind for now.

"Oh really? That's great! Is there a reason why we're going there though?"

Asking Kotori with a small smile to make sure that she wouldn't become worried. I was honestly curious to know why we were heading down to the place Kotori used to work at to see her final designs, since we could go about just anywhere else to do that.

"I guess because we'll get free drinks and snacks!"

Kotori answers me with a small innocent giggle.

W-what?... That was the reason why she wanted to take me over there?...

I then start laughing, Kotori then smiles once she hears me laughing. Finally clearing my throat and regaining my posture, I then do a small smile.

"That's a great reason, thank you for keeping that in mind Kotori!"

Kotori then shakes her head, being modest she then smiles.

"Eri-chan we're friends right? So I would do anything to make sure you're happy when we're together."

Instantly my cheeks became flushed, once again trying my best to make Kotori not worried, I then nod with a smile.

"Yes, that's true! Thank you very much Kotori, you're a great friend."

I then see Kotori's face also become flushed, turning her back to me and making sure that I didn't see her expression, I then do a small giggle.

Honestly that answer she gave me is way more better than taking me to her home, since the words "We're friends right?" coming out from her mouth could speak louder than any action she could do. I'm just really happy she feels the same way...

And because the both of us are friends, I want to do everything in my power to get rid of the thing bothering her.

Finally after me and Kotori finished our conversation, we continued down the path to the cafe she used to work at.

Along the way, the question that I pondered over came out from the back of my mind.

When Kotori said, "The cafe I used to work at." Did she get fired? Or did she quit because her mother found out? Could the reason why she stopped working at the cafe be because of the the thing that has been bothering her all day?...

* * *

Me and Kotori finally reach her old work place. When we arrive there, we are greeted by some young girls dressed as maids who work there. Showing tears and asking Kotori (Minalinsky) why she quit. Kotori simply gave them an apology and her Minalinsky autograph, the young girls then sat us down at a table.

I see, so she quit... The words that the young girls said still sits in my mind.

Sure now I know she didn't get fired but quit, but now I have to know if it was because her mother found out or if she did it by her own will.

Ignoring that question for now, I then turn my focus to the request that Kotori gave me.

Kotori is about to take out her sketchbook from her bag, before she takes it out, a young maid approaches our table and places two plates of strawberry cheesecake before me and Kotori.

As Kotori saw the plate of strawberry cheesecake, her expression instantly lit up.

"It's on the house, the manager was really happy to hear that you came back to visit. So as a thank you he wanted us to serve you your favorite dish."

I see, so Kotori's favorite food is strawberry cheesecake. It's very fitting for the type of person she was, but it appears like not only did her former coworkers miss her, so did her manager.

"Please tell the manager I said thank you for the meal, and that it made me and my friend really happy!"

The young maid nods at Kotori with a cheerful expression, the two sharing warm smiles with one another, she then leaves me and Kotori alone so that we may eat are meal.

"So, Kotori. Your favorite food is strawberry cheesecake huh?"

Honestly I wanted to ask her my real question, "Why did you quit?" But since I saw that Kotori looked so happy right now, I didn't want to ruin it now so I'll hold back on asking her that question for now.

Kotori then nods with a cheerful expression while about to use her fork to take a piece of the delicious looking cake.

"Yeah! What's your favorite food Eri-chan?"

Kotori showed a lot of curiosity and eagerness on her expression, even if we are friends, we were just new ones at that and we still had more to learn about one another.

Doing a small smile, I then tell her what my favorite food is,

"Chocolate."

"Eh?!"

Kotori then does a shocked expression.

What?! Why is she so surprised that my favorite food is chocolate? Is it because it doesn't match my personality?!

I could feel that a bit of anger started to show on my face.

I don't even know why I'm angry to be honest. I'm pretty sure everybody else would be surprised if they found out my favorite food was chocolate. The only one that knows that it is my favorite food is Nozomi, but I didn't feel angry when she became surprised when she found out, but why is it I got angry when Kotori got surprised when she found out?

"I'm sorry about that Eri-chan! I honestly thought something other than chocolate would have been your favorite food."

Kotori then does a small bow of apology in front of me.

Oh no, did she saw the bit of anger that I had on my face? Damn... I was trying not to get her worried all this time to not add to the thing that was bothering her... Man, sometimes I can be a real idiot...

"No, I'm sorry Kotori... I shouldn't have even gotten angry to begin with. It shouldn't even be that surprising to me anymore if others become surprised when they find out my favorite food is chocolate..."

I pour in all my guilt into that apology, to make sure that Kotori doesn't feel sorry for being surprised that my favorite food was chocolate.

Kotori shows a surprised expression upon hearing my apology. I then continue to bow my head in apology in front of her, gritting my teeth in anger, all that anger was for me being an idiot.

Here we go again, I fail to show Kotori the image of a perfect role model that I strive to show everybody because of another foolish act.

I then feel Kotori tapping her finger on my bowed head, bringing my head up to see why she was tapping my head, I then see a small piece of wrapped chocolate on her hands.

"I was suprised but also really happy when I found out your favorite food was chocolate Eri-chan! Since not only did I get to learn more about you but I also got to find out that your taste in food can be unexpected like the times when you are cute!"

What?... As soon as I heard Kotori say those words my cheeks became flushed with red.

Honestly I wish I could have still bowed my head to make sure that she wouldn't see my face right now but... I'm really happy she feels that way..

Taking the small piece of wrapped chocolate from Kotori's hand, I then give her a warm smile.

"I feel the same way... But is it really unexpected that I can be cute?"

Kotori then giggles upon hearing my answer then nods with a cheerful expression.

I'm honestly really embarrassed for asking her that question but most of all, I'm just happy that I can make her smile again.

After Kotori and I share a warm conversation, we then finish eating our strawberry cheesecakes. It was finally the time for Kotori to show me her final designs for our new costumes.

Kotori taking out her sketchbook from her bag then looks for the page inside it which has the final designs for our new costumes.

I'm really eager to find out how they look, but I already know that they're going to be amazing. Even if it wasn't the final product I would still think the same way.

"Here it is! Eri-chan, please tell me how it is!"

Kotori finally finds the page in her sketchbook which contained the final designs of our new costumes. Passing me her sketchbook, I then turn my gaze to the final design of the costumes that might finally give us the ticket of making it into Love Live! this year.

"This is..."

Kotori shows an eager but worried expression on her face. Honestly I have no words that can explain how amazing the designs are and even more, Kotori put all her effort into making this and finally after this, she will start making these costumes a reality, all I could say is...

"Amazing..."

"Really?!"

I have no other words to say, just simply the one word that express all the feelings and thoughts that I had for the final designs of our new costumes that Kotori created.

"I honestly think we could make it into Love Live! if we wore these..."

"Eri-chan..."

I then hear a hint of sadness in Kotori's voice, but why would Kotori be sad? Was my opinion not enough to satisfy all the effort she put into making these designs? Or could the reason why she was sad be because of the thing that was bothering all this time?...

"Kotori..."

"Hmm?"

Now is the time for me to ask Kotori what was bothering her, I simply can't take her being sad anymore since not only is she my friend... She's an important person to me.

"Has something been bothering you all this time? Since I've noticed that you've been different all this day. Also hearing your former co-workers say that you quit, I'm worried that you quit was because of the thing that has been bothering you all day."

"I..."

Kotori then looks down to the floor, trying to avoid my concerned gaze.

"Kotori, please. I'm worried about you."

"Eri-chan..."

Upon hearing my answer, I then see Kotori about to take out a letter from her bag, but at the moment she was going to take it out her phone starts ringing.

"Mom?..."

It seems like the one who is calling Kotori is her mother, but as soon as Kotori saw the name on her phone she looked even more sad than before...

"Kotori if you need to leave, we can leave this for another time."

"Eri-chan?..."

That is all I can say for now, sure above anything else I wanted to do everything in my power to get rid of the thing which was bothering Kotori all this time. It then finally hit me, that maybe I'm not the one she should be talking about this to...

"Thank you for helping me out today Kotori, even if my help isn't enough to repay you, I had a great time... So please, do your best to make those final designs into a reality."

"Sure.. I had a great time too Eri-chan! I believe that you did plenty to repay me Eri-chan! I promise I'll make these designs into the costumes that will make us make it into Love Live! this year."

Kotori then does a small smile at me, I knew that smile was a forced one...

"See you tomorrow?"

Kotori nods with a smile,

"Yeah, bye Eri-chan..."

A hint of sadness was voiced that moment she said farewell to me, Kotori leaving the cafe waving goodbye to all her former coworkers. I then take out the small piece of wrapped chocolate she gave me and stare at it.

"It isn't my place to ask her..."

Yes... Even if I really wanted to ask her what was bothering her all this time, this was a place for her true friends, Umi, or Honoka to ask her. I was simply just a friend to Kotori, there's nothing special between us, we're just normal friends...

Clenching the fist that held the small piece of wrapped chocolate that Kotori gave me in anger, that anger was directed at me, because of the foolish mistake I just made... But... am I really wrong?... Kotori should talk about this to Honoka or Umi not me...

unwrapping the small piece of chocolate from it's wrapper, I then eat it.

"Why was it that it looked like she wanted to tell me though..."

This chocolate was honestly really delicious and sweet, but tasted bitter at the same time... I knew that it was bitter because I made another foolish mistake... One that could mean that I might never get to know more about Kotori anymore...


	4. Сожалея

It is said that humanity never knows what they have until after they have lost it, maybe the reason for that is because the regret of not having enough time with the thing fills our hearts, simply all we can do is regret and wish that we could have had more time to spend with that thing...

I always knew that I could be a foolish person sometimes, but what I never knew was that foolishness could lead up to me having to lose the very thing that I gained through me being foolish...

It was one day away from μ's big live that we would be holding at the school's roof to see if we can gain our chance at competing in Love Live! This year.

Having everything about done, our new song was complete, "No brand girls" was the song which we were going to be perform before all our fans. All that was left was for Kotori to hand out all our costumes and for all of us to individually prepare ourselves for one of our biggest performances ever.

But ever since that day, I decided to make the foolish mistake of not asking Kotori what was the thing bothering her. I knew that it was going to come at a large price, but I never expected it to be as large as I thought...

Kotori and me, during the final preparations before our huge performance never really got to talk much, but what I didn't want to admit, it's because I was also avoiding her, I just wanted her to finally tell her problems to one of her true friends Umi, or Honoka.

Honoka was out of the question, since right know she immersed herself into making sure that our huge performance was going to be a success, I could only place my trust in Umi helping her out...

In μ's club room, I then organize a few magazines and books, since I thought once our performance was done we will get many interested guests coming over, and knowing Niko, she wasn't what you would call the greatest organizer.

As I continued to organize the shelves, I then continued to think about how Kotori was feeling, but I also felt the anger which I had for myself for not asking her that day.

"Why am I even angry? I'm sure if she tells Umi..."

I didn't know the reason for my anger, was it because she wanted to tell me and I completely threw her off? But there was a reason why I did that...

"We're just friends..."

In the moment I said those words, I can feel a sharp pain in my chest.

Gripping my chest in pain, I didn't know the reason for it.

Shouldn't I be happy enough that we're friends? We were completely two different people who no one would ever expect to become friends but still...

"Why am I not happy?..."

In that moment, the pain in my chest became stronger. It was enough to actually make tears form in my eyes but I held them back since I wouldn't want someone to suddenly come in a see me in such a pathetic sight...

"Eri-chan?..."

In that moment, I heard the voice of the person who has been on my mind on all this time. Rather having the pain in my chest leaving, I can feel it only become sharper.

Trying my best to regain my form to make Kotori not worry about me, I then greet her with a small smile.

"Kotori, I thought you were supposed to get ready to show us all our costumes. Do you need something?"

"Actually I..."

Oh no... She still looks like something is still bothering her. Did she not tell Umi yet?! Don't tell me she hasn't yet because she doesn't want to bother anybody because of our big performance tomorrow?!

In that moment, I felt the pain in my chest become rage, not for Kotori but for me.

I'm an idiot, maybe I should have listened to her that day, if I did... She would be able to make the smile she always did...

"Kotori!..."

Before I'm able to ask Kotori what I wanted to ask her all this time, Umi shows up.

"Eri, Kotori? What are you two doing here? We're going to be having a meeting at the rooftop to have one final practice session before tomorrow's big performance."

I'm not sure why but the question, "Did she have to show up now?", came out from my mind, I was a little relived to see that it was Umi that showed up, since maybe after our practice session Kotori will finally tell Umi what's been bothering her.

But still... Why am I sad but angry when I think that?...

"Sure Umi-chan, can you give me a second? Eri-chan seemed like she wanted to ask me something."

"Hmm? Sure-"

"It's fine Kotori, let's make sure to put all effort into this important practice session."

Ah... Here we go again, I'm such a huge idiot but... It's not my place to ask...

"Sure, let's make sure to put all our effort in, Umi-chan, Eri-chan!"

Kotori turns to me and Umi with a cheerful expression but the moment Kotori turned to me, I can see a hint of sadness in her smile.

Clenching my fist in anger because of all the rage I had towards my foolishness, I can only hope that she will tell Umi after this...

* * *

As μ's held it's final practice session for our huge performance tomorrow, we made sure to burn all the steps and lyrics of the songs into our bones and minds.

During that practice session, I could feel the anger and sadness that I had welling up inside me when my gaze turned to Kotori. But also I hope that once I see Kotori tomorrow, I'll be able to see the warm "pure" smile she made in the past.

Once all of us felt that we did enough practice to memorize everything for our huge live tomorrow, Honoka then approaches Kotori before we leave.

"Kotori-chan! Did you finish our new costumes yet?!"

Out of all the members in μ's, our leader, Honoka. Was living up to her status, not showing a hint of exhaustion, it made me a little worried that she might think that this practice session wasn't enough for tomorrow, but I believe Honoka will make sure not to do anything that would jeopardize tomorrow's performance.

"Almost, I'll show all of you before our big live tomorrow!"

"I can't wait nya!"

In a burst of excitement, Rin expressed her excitement that she couldn't wait until tomorrow to see our new costumes, Hanayo joins in on her best friend's excitement.

"I feel the same way, I bet the costumes Kotori made for our huge performance will be her best ones yet!"

Niko then adds herself into their excitement.

"Hey I helped too!"

"I bet you actually did nothing."

Niko was offended by Maki's claim, that she didn't help Kotori with making our new costumes and gave her a tiny hiss, Maki in response just clicks her tounge. Sadly I kind of feel the same way but I guess she did help a bit.

As my gaze turned to Kotori, she turned hers to mine, doing a small smile at me, I give her one back.

But in the inside, I was really bitter, just like that chocolate I ate after deciding to make one of the most foolish mistakes in my life...

"Eri-chi, is something wrong?"

I didn't know that bitterness started to show on my face, Nozomi might have noticed it and became worried.

"Ah, it's nothing don't worry Nozomi."

Trying my best to rid of my bitter expression with a smile, Nozomi smiles at me back glad that I'm all right.

But honestly I'm not. I'm so confused by all these emotions flowing through me, I really wish I could just shut them up so that I would stop feeling this way but maybe it's because... I really did make a mistake.

Before all of us leave home, I then notice Kotori walk up to me before I leave.

"Eri-chan, do you want to walk home together?"

What?... Did she intend to not walk home with Umi all this time and walk with me instead?...

In that moment I could feel the anger I had inside me fill my face.

"Eri-chan?..."

Oh no... Kotori noticed... But... I don't know why...

"Kotori, I decided to walk with Nozomi today, so do you think you can go home with Umi today?"

"Eh?..."

"No, Kotori, I'm not angry at you, I'm angry because I'm such an idiot." Was what I really wanted to say. The words that flowed through my mind to my tongue was the last resort that my conscious used to stop feeling guilty because I decided to not find out and rid of what was bothering Kotori all this time...

"Sure... Eri-chan. I'm really sorry if I did something to make you angry..."

Before Kotori left to go find Umi, she did a bow of apology.

As soon as she left, I banged my fist on the shoe locker. Tears of frustration started falling from my face.

"No... I'm sorry Kotori... I'm sorry I'm such a idiot..."

I never knew that I could be this much of a fool... Maybe in that moment I should have shut myself up and not let my emotines get the better of me...

Sure I knew that I was fine with Kotori seeing the side of me that made mistakes, but I never wanted her to see the side of me that made stupid choices...

* * *

After that I headed home alone, I knew I told Kotori I was going to walk home with Nozomi, but I knew that if I was going to do that in my current condition Nozomi would know right away that something was wrong with me, and I don't want anyone else to find out how stupid I could be...

As I slept and tried my best to ignore all the regret I had in my heart, I simply remembered that moment Kotori apologized to me.

"I was the one who should have apologized not her..."

I knew if I kept on thinking about that, I would never get any rest and that would make our dream of making it into Love Live! fail...

All I could do to blot out all those thoughts, was the hope I had, that Kotori told Umi the thing that was bothering her and as soon as I saw her tomorrow she would greet me with the warm "pure" smile she always did...

Because anybody would do anything to get rid of a guilty conscious, I simply ignored as it screamed out "You idiot!", because I knew that even If Kotori did tell Umi, she wouldn't make that warm "pure" smile because of all I did today...

But because I was such an idiot, I was able to close my eyes and get the necessary rest I needed for tomorrow's performance.

* * *

As soon as I woke up and got ready to go to school for our huge performance, I saw that the sky was grey and that the rain from last night was going to continue to pour down soon...

"Onee-chan, do you think it's going to rain today?"

My little sister, Arisa, showed a bit of worry on her face, since along with Honoka's little sister, Yukiho, were going to watch our performance together.

"Don't worry about us, I'm sure even if it was going to snow that we would still make this live a success."

Arisa giggled as soon as she heard my answer.

"This is not Russia onee-chan!"

Sharing a warm laugh along with my younger sister. I felt like the grey sky and coming rain signified something bad was going to happen today... I'm just hoping that the blue sky and the sun may show up and make my claim untrue...

Parting ways with Arisa, I then arrive at school and head to the club room. I saw that no one was inside.

"Did they not come yet? Or are they at the roof?"

Most likely everyone already came and headed up to the roof concerned about the grey skies and coming rain...

Along the path to the stairs that led to the roof, I then see Kotori and Umi at the top. Hiding myself behind cover so that they don't spot me, I then notice Kotori holding the letter she was about to show me that day at the cafe...

"Kotori, you need to tell Honoka about this right away."

So she told Umi?... I'm glad but... What's going on?... Why does Umi sound so serious?

"Can't it wait until we're done this performance?..."

"Kotori!"

Oh no... Kotori... I can still hear sadness in her voice...

Clenching my fist in the rage I tried so hard to forget, I then hear the footsteps of people approaching the stairs.

"Anyways, you still need to tell her no matter what."

"I know Umi-chan..."

The two then finish their conversation. They must have heard the others coming as well, trying my best to shake off all the anger I had in my system so that the others wouldn't see it, I then see Niko along with the others.

"Ah, Eri! Did you see Honoka?"

"Honoka? Why? She isn't with you guys?"

A little surprised by Niko's question, I then quickly look among the others to see if Honoka's there.

"No, and we're worried since the performance isn't too long from now..."

"What are we going to do now nya?!"

Hanayo and Rin shared their voice of concern for Honoka's whereabouts.

This is bad, I never knew that a grey sky and coming rain would actually really mean the signs of bad things to come but still...

"Don't worry everybody, I'm sure Honoka will show up before we go up on stage!"

This was the only way I knew how to not be an idiot, use the image of the perfect role model that I always strive for to reassure the others not to worry...

As soon as they heard my words. Kotori and Umi then come down the stairs.

"Eh? Honoka isn't her yet?!"

"Oh no Umi-chan, what are we going to do... Eri-chan?..."

"Kotori..."

As soon as Kotori and me met eye contact, an awkward atmosphere filled the whole place. Trying my best not to add to the problem at hand, I turn to Umi.

"Umi, do you have Honoka's phone number?"

"Yes I do."

"Can you call her to see where she is right now?"

Umi then takes out her phone then nods,

"Yes!"

"In the meantime, we'll all get ready for the performance."

Turning to Kotori about to ask her the question if she got our costumes ready, Nozomi in place does it for me.

"Kotori-chan, do you have our costumes ready?"

"Uh yes! They're in the club room!"

"Then I'll go with you to grab them."

Before Nozomi leaves with Kotori to go grab the costumes for our big performance, I can feel Nozomi give me a pat on the shoulder which said, "Don't worry."

"Nozomi..."

All I could say in my mind was "Thank you." Since now was not the time for my emotions to get the better of me. Now was the time for all of us to ready ourselves for

the performance that might as well be the very ticket to making it into Love Live! this year.

* * *

Heading to the room where me and the others would get ready, Kotori and Nozomi finally arrived with our costumes.

"Wow, Kotori-chan those are just..."

"Amazing nya!"

"Hey I helped out too!"

"Yeah right..."

As soon as all of us saw the new costumes that Kotori made for our huge performance, the whole room became filled with excitement. I knew that once she made the final product a reality, that it would even be more amazing but truly this is just...

"You're just too amazing Kotori..."

Whispering those words I then see Kotori becoming flustered from all the compliments she gets from the others,

"It was nothing really!"

Kotori and I then met eyes in that moment, turning them away I just felt a sharp pain in my chest when I saw her eyes.

I should be happy for her and telling her that she's amazing... Not be an idiot...

"Honoka's not picking up her phone!"

Suddenly Umi barged into the room with a large shout that was very unfitting of her character, but I knew that this was bad...

"What do you mean Umi?!"

"I tried countless times, but she hasn't been picking up!"

Umi showed an expression full of anxiety as soon as she said those words, who wouldn't be anxious after finding that out? I even see Maki twirling her hair more faster then she usally does just doing a loud "Tch." While the others showed anxiety too.

"Umi-chan..."

Kotori out of everybody else showed the most anxiety, and it pained me to see her like this... In that moment when I literally thought of calling a search party, I saw a flow of bright orange hair pass through the door.

"Hey guys... Sorry I'm late..."

Honoka then did a small cough and was about to fall down to her knees, Kotori catching her in time, all of us then run to our leader worried more than ever.

"Honoka-chan?!"

Kotori doing a worried cry to her best friend, Honoka does a small cough then clears her throat.

"Don't worry about me, I'm fine..."

"You clearly aren't fine! You idiot! Why did you have to catch a cold out of all these days?!"

Umi clearly showing anger but concern towards Honoka. Honoka tries her best to reassure her best friend and the rest of us not to worry.

"Don't worry guys, it's just a small one... I could do today's performance..."

The moment Honoka put on that determined expression, she probably put all her power into making it since she looked really exhausted after saying it.

"How did you even catch a cold?!"

Sure I knew, even if Honoka was sick, she would do everything in her power to perform today but I knew my concerns about her going too far after yesterday's practice session were right.

"I... I thought I could do more so, I went out to train last night..."

That moment, Umi was about to slap her but Kotori held her back. Umi seeing her friend's plea to not hurt Honoka, she then takes a small breath in to calm herself down.

"You idiot, you knew it was raining last night, why would you think of going out to train?!"

Maki in place of Umi then becomes the voice of reason in the room, Honoka simply tries her best to regain posture and move away from Kotori's arms.

"I wanted to make sure this live was a success no matter what since... We need to make it into Love Live!..."

As soon as Honoka said those words, the exhaustion and cold like appearance she had disappeared, making a small cough. Nozomi gives Honoka a cold pill along with a glass of water.

"I'm not sure if this is enough, but I'm pretty sure you'll be able to finish the performance if you take this and use the determination you have as well."

Honoka taking the pill and gulping down the water instantly then gives a thumbs up to Nozomi.

"Thanks Nozomi-chan! Now Kotori-chan, do you have our costumes?!"

"Eh?... Yes."

Doing a dumbfounded smile, I do a sigh of relief along with some other members.

Really, Honoka is amazing in her own way, but I really hope she could live up to what she just said but knowing her we might make this...

"All right guys! It's almost time for one of the most important performance in our lives! So let's put our all into this and make this performance a huge success!"

Honoka being more pumped then ever, being truly like a leader, reassured us not to worry and shared the enthusiastic aura she had with all of us.

"Honoka's right! Even if it is raining... We'll still make this live a success no matter what! Isn't that right everyone?!"

Adding to Honoka's leader like speech, everyone then does a loud battle cheer, gaining a burst of positive energy all of us felt that we would never fail this performance.

Kotori and Nozomi then started handing out our costumes, as soon as Kotori was about to give me my costume, making no eye contact,

"I knew that these were going to be amazing once you made them, Kotori."

Whispering the words I just said so that Kotori would be the only one to hear them. I didn't know what expression she made when I said the words, I just wanted to say those words to her all this time.

Honestly I wish I could stop being an idiot but... Right now I need to focus on the huge performance that is before us, I couldn't let my emotions get the better me.

Turning my gaze at the grey, raining sky through the window in our change room I whisper,

"I hope the sun and clear blue sky returns..."

What I didn't know though, was that grey skies and rain really did signify the signs of bad things to come and out of all the bad things to come, it would shatter our dream of competing in Love Live! this year but most of all... The aftermath of those events would lead to the final day that I would ever be able to see Kotori again...


	5. затруднение

In many cultures, weather and the color of the sky always represented the sign of things to come. Many of those cultures knew that when there was a grey sky and there was going to be rainfall... It was the sign something bad was to come.

Hoping that the blue clear sky and shining sun would return, my wishes were met by the prediction that so many cultures already knew... I just never expected it to be this bad...

All of us excluding Kotori and Umi, sat in the club room in a deep silence. That silence was for the fact we knew that because of the events that just occurred that our dream of making it into Love Live! this year has been shattered for good.

Hanayo fidgeting, she was the one most uncomfortable in this atmosphere, since to be honest I think that this was the first time for her actually having a dream of hers shattered as well.

"Do you... Think Honoka-chan is all right?..."

Even though being the most anxious one in the room, Hanayo decided to break the ice with the question that has been in all our minds all this time.

"Yukiho made sure to call her parents to take her home, Kotori and Umi also went with them to make sure she was all right so... I think she'll just be fine."

Trying my best to use the image of the perfect role model that I have strive for, to calm down Hanayo. I see that only a little of her anxiety has faded, but I understand why...

* * *

As we were finishing the performance of our new song, "No brand girls", Honoka fainted, succumbing to the cold that became a fever as she performed in the rain.

All that we could do is cry out to our leader, but Kotori's cries were the strongest out of all of ours. I couldn't bear seeing her like that but most of all, Honoka's well being came first...

"Honoka-chan!"

Kotori continued to cry out to her best friend in the downpour, I immediately grab Honoka's arms to support her.

"Umi! Maki! Help me out! We need to get Honoka out the rain!"

Umi and Maki immediately came to my aid, supporting Honoka's body, Yukiho along with Arisa ran up to us.

"Onee-chan?!"

Yukiho, crying tears of worry for her older sister, I then turn to my little sister, Arisa.

"Arisa! Tell Yukiho to call her parents so that they can take Honoka home!"

"Okay!"

Arisa tries her best to calm the tearful Yukiho and does what I told her to.

Along with Umi and Maki, we start to move Honoka indoors so that the rain wouldn't worsen her condition.

"You idiot..."

Umi whispering those words, I could see tears flowing down her eyes. Umi and Kotori out of all of us were the most worried about Honoka, since she was the most important friend to the two and seeing her like this would probably be too much for anybody if they shared the same relationship.

"I-I'm sorry..."

Hearing Honoka speak in a quite voice as soon as we got her into shelter, Umi's tearful expression became one full of rage.

"You idiot! I can't believe you we're willing to go this far for some stupid competition! No... It's our fault we even let you perform..."

Umi's rage then became tears again. We all knew that this wasn't actually Honoka's fault but our fault for even letting her perform...

"N-no it's not..."

Honoka whispering with a small cough, Umi then gazes at Honoka with a surprised expression.

"Honoka?..."

As soon as our gazes turned to Honoka, we saw many tears falling down from her face.

"Honoka..."

Honoka must of been really devastated to find out the determination and all the hard work she put into this performance so that we could make it into Love Live! was all for naught...

"I-it's my fault... For being such an idiot... I'm sorry I dragged the rest of you-"

As soon as Honoka was about to finish her sentence she did a strong cough. Maki taking out a cloth and wiping the rain that fell all over Honoka's hair and face then sighs,

"Don't push yourself too much, you can blame yourself after you get better..."

"Maki-chan..."

Honoka then closes her eyes, taking Maki's words into accord. We all knew that after this, even if the blue sky and shining sun did return... Nothing would be the same...

* * *

"Umi was right though..."

"Maki?"

Maki was the type of girl to never express much of her feelings, but by the way she was twirling her hair, I can tell that she was feeling really anxious but guilty.

"It is our fault for letting her perform..."

The already heavy atmosphere in this room only became even heavier, all of us already knew that Honoka's stage mishap was her fault, but we knew that it was most of ours.

"I should have read my tarot cards before we performed... Maybe then we could have stopped ourselves from letting Honoka-chan perform..."

Nozomi did a guilty gaze at her tarot cards as she spoke those words.

"Even if you did, that wouldn't have stopped Honoka from performing."

"Niko-chi?"

Niko with a calm expression spoke those words, trying her best to calm all of us down.

Niko was probably the most mature of us in this situation, even if she did feel worried for Honoka and felt guilty for letting her perform, she knew that this wasn't all of our fault.

"Honoka's an idiot. Sure sometimes she being a idiot is something good, but this time it got the better of her and this happened... So let's not beat ourselves over this and move on."

"Niko..."

"Are you really Niko-chan nya?!"

"What the hell are you saying?! Obviously I am!"

All of us then started to laugh thanks to the comedic situation that Rin created.

Even if those mature words did conflict with Niko's character, she was right. We had to acknowledge that this wasn't just our fault and just move on and focus on Honoka getting better.

Even if we were able to lift off some guilt off our shoulders... The aftermaths of those events would affect all of us greatly, but most of all... Me and Kotori.

* * *

"So Eri-chi, what did you decide to bring Honoka-chan?"

"Chicken Lapsha."

Holding up a plastic bag to show Nozomi what I brought Honoka, Niko then gazes at me with a confused expression.

"The hell's that?"

Doing a small sigh, I then explain to Niko what the contents in the bag are.

"It's Russia's version of chicken noodle soup, my grandmother made it for me and my little sister whenever we got a cold while living in Russia."

"Hmm?..."

Niko nodding to herself, seeming to understand what the contents in my plastic bag are.

Along with most of the μ's members, we make our way down to Honoka's house.

The reason for this was, since even if we all knew the saying "Idiots don't catch colds", Honoka had a fever after her parents along with Yukiho took her home to get some rest after the events that occurred a few days ago.

As soon as we heard Honoka's fever was down after a few days, we all decided to go visit Honoka and bring her things that would make her feel better. Umi and Kotori went ahead of us since well, Honoka is one of the most important friend in their lives.

Since these events I never had the chance to talk to Kotori and apologize to her for all the stupid things I did, but for now making sure that Honoka got healthy again so that we can discuss the future of μ's was the most important priority, so I needed to hold back on that now.

As soon as we arrived at Honoka's house, we were greeted by her quite young looking mother, who looked surprised to see all of us.

"Oh my! Honoka! All your friends came to see you!"

Honoka out from her bed room window quickly peeked her head to see us,

"Really?! Ah, guys! I'm so happy that you came to-"

As soon as she was going to finish her sentence Honoka did a strong cough, All of us then did small sighs of relief to see that she was still her cheerful self.

Me, Nozomi and Niko headed up to Honoka's room while Maki along with Hanayo and Rin decided to stay downstairs.

Entering Honoka's room, we were greeted by a still sick but cheerful Honoka,

"Oh, Eri-chan, and everyone else! You came to see me too?!"

"Well you are our leader... But man, I'm glad to see you're fine."

Niko doing a sigh of relief, showed that she was really happy to see that Honoka was still her cheerful self.

By the way Honoka looked, it seemed like she would be able to go to school tomorrow.

Kotori who sat beside Honoka's bed along with Umi, then turns her gaze to me, giving her a small wave, Kotori then does a small smile.

It was an awkward smile, since I knew that the both of us still had a complicated relationship after the stupid mistakes I made not too long ago, but the both of us knew to hold that off to the side until Honoka got better.

"Look! Since I got a cold I was allowed to eat three pudding cups!"

Honoka with a cheerful expression held up a pudding cup to show us, digging a spoon into the delicious looking snack and eating it, Umi sighs.

"You're going to get fat..."

"Looks like we were worried for nothing."

Closing the door to Honoka's room, Me and the others settled ourselves in Honoka's room. Honoka made sure to put her cold mask up again to make sure that we didn't catch her cold.

"Your mom wasn't joking when she said you were full of life."

Nozomi making a relived smile at Honoka, Niko then sits in front of Honoka.

"So how are your legs?"

Honoka moving her blanket to the side, then showed us one of her legs that was wrapped in bandages.

"It's just a minor sprain. They said it'll be fine once the swelling goes down. "

That day Honoka collapsed on stage, not only did she catch a fever, when she fell she sprained one of her legs, but seeing that it was a minor one made all of us felt pretty relived.

Honoka put her cold mask down, showing us a guilty expression.

"I'm really sorry for messing up the last show, you guys... It could have been our best performance yet..."

I see, so even after a few days went by she still felt guilty for fainting on stage.

Making a small sigh, I then smile at Honoka trying my best to cheer her up.

"It's not your fault, partially of it is ours, but we accepted our faults and decided to move on and focus on your recovery."

"But..."

I wanted to remove most of the guilt Honoka had on her shoulders, since knowing if she felt guilty she wouldn't recover her health back quickly.

Passing Honoka a CD case, Honoka grabs from my hands with a curious expression.

"Maki played some piano music to help you relax, so that you could get better faster."

Honoka made a cheerful expression as soon as she heard that Maki did something like this for her, since well... I guess you could say anybody would actually be happy if they got something from Maki.

Honoka quickly getting up from her bed to the window waves at Maki with the CD,

"Maki-chan, thanks!"

Me and the others being surprised by Honoka's burst of happiness, try our best to bring her back to her bed.

"What are you doing?!"

"Did you forget that you have a cold?!"

Niko and me quickly drag Honoka back to her bed, I knew that Maki must have gotten really embarrassed after Honoka showed her gratitude for her gift that vividly.

Honoka blowing her nose with a tissue, Umi puts a blanket over her back.

"You're still recovering. You need to take it easy."

"Thanks Umi-chan. I think I'll be well enough to go back to school tomorrow though."

"Really?"

Kotori showing a relived expression, to see that her best friend can finally attend school tomorrow, Niko adds in with a sigh,

"Well who wouldn't think that with all the energy you have."

Honoka making a small chuckle, Honoka then turns to the rest of us.

"I was thinking that maybe we could do another performance, since there's still time left until the groups for Love Live! are decided! Since I thought we could make up for lost time!"

As soon as Honoka spoke those words, a great silence filled the room.

"Honoka..."

Breaking the silence with a serious tone in my voice, I needed to tell Honoka the truth...

"We're not participating in Love Live!"

Honoka in a dumbfounded expression stares at me, I knew this was going to be hard to hear, but she needed to know the aftermath of all those events.

"The chairwoman pointed out to us, "We might have been overworking ourselves." She wanted us to reflect on the reason to why we have been doing all our activities."

Doing a small sigh to show the stress that I gained after all the aftermath of those events, I explained to Honoka what we all decided to do,

"After a group discussion, we decided to withdraw our entry. In the rankings, μ's is... gone."

"No way.."

In that moment, I can see a great disbelief appear on Honoka's face, staring down on her bed sheets, Umi tried her best to cheer up her best friend.

"We're the ones at fault, for letting you perform despite having a cold."

"No it's not... I was an idiot for getting too carried away..."

"Honoka-chan..."

There was a great devastation in Honoka's voice. I felt like there was nothing I can say to cheer her up and take the guilt off her shoulders... Even so I needed to do what I knew best.

"Even if you are at fault, there is no gain from playing the blame game here."

"Eri-chan?..."

"We're all responsible for what happened, it's your fault for neglecting the condition you were in and decided to perform despite of it, but most of all. It's our fault for deciding to let you preform despite your condition."

All of us in the room understood this, and there was nothing to be gained if we continued to wrap our heads over this, we just simply needed to move on and accept the consequences of our actions...

"So for now, try your best to get better okay?"

Passing the plastic bag that had the Chicken Lapsha I made for Honoka, she grabs and opens it staring inside the bag,

"Eri-chan, what is this?"

"It's Chicken Lapsha, Russia's version of chicken noodle soup. My grandmother made this whenever me or my little sister caught a cold."

Smiling at Honoka, Honoka then stares at me with an eager expression,

"Did you make this?..."

Huh?... Why is she so eager to find out if I made it?

"Yes? Why did you want to ask?"

Tears of joy along with snot started to fall from Honoka's eyes and nose,

"I'm so happy! Eri-chan made this for me!"

"Hey! Mind your manners!"

Umi quickly wiped Honoka's nose and eyes with a handkerchief with the expression of a scolding mother.

I'm happy she would be this happy when she found out I made this for her.

My gaze then turned to Kotori, who was making a small frown.

"Kotori?..."

* * *

After when we were finished visiting and giving things to make Honoka feel better, the rest of us decided to head home.

Niko decided to walk home with the 1st years, while Kotori walked with Umi. I decided to walk the path home with Nozomi, even knowing that if I did walk home with Kotori and could already apologize to her... I was a coward...

"Honoka-chan looked really sad when she found out about what happened."

Nozomi staring at the vivid orange evening sky, then expressed the sympathy she felt towards our devastated leader.

"She had to know that all the events that happened would come with consequences..."

"Even so..."

Nozomi continued to feel sympathy towards Honoka, as we continued to walk down the path that we would part so that the both of us can head home. I knew as well that all the stupid mistakes that I made with Kotori would come with consequences as well. Honestly I was afraid that our friendship would be in peril because of my stupid actions...

"Eri-chi, is something wrong? You're making a really scary face right now."

"Huh?"

I didn't notice as soon as I thought of that, the rage that I had towards myself appeared on my face again, trying my best to straighten my expression. Nozomi finally breaks the ice.

"Did something happen between you and Kotori-chan?"

"What?..."

Nozomi was a very mysterious girl, one thing that I found most mysterious about her was how she was able to see right through people. I was honestly really shocked to find out she knew that something was up between me and Kotori.

"Nothing happened..."

I tried my best to deny the truth, so that another one of my friends wouldn't find out how much of a fool I can be.

"Don't lie to me Eri-chi, I know when you're lying."

Nozomi walked in front of me, gazing at me with eyes that saw right through my lies. Finally I gave up my futile resistance and let out a small sigh.

"I was a fool Nozomi... I hurt Kotori even if I didn't want to."

"Eri-chi..."

Looking down on the sidewalk, I didn't want Nozomi to see the maelstrom of emotions that were on my face.

"And even after all of this, I didn't apologize to her... I don't know why, even when I had so many chances to..."

"It's not your fault for not telling her, Eri-chi."

"Nozomi?..."

Gazing up at Nozomi, she gazed at me with a small smile.

"With all that has happened, I understand that you didn't want to complicate those situations even more. So don't blame yourself, you still have a chance to apologize since you and Kotori-chan are friends right?"

Nozomi was right, Kotori and me are friends, so she can understand why I didn't apologize to her during that time but what still bothered me was... The fact that she wanted to tell me that time at the cafe what was troubling her and I simply threw her off...

"Eri-chan?..."

I knew that I was making another angry expression, shaking my head I then do a small smile a Nozomi,

"Thank you for everything that you said Nozomi. I'll make sure to apologize to her tomorrow."

"No problem!"

Nozomi then nodded at me with a cheerful expression.

I knew that all the mistakes I have made up until now was because of that one foolish mistake I decided to make at the cafe. It was honestly the time that I considered myself to be stupid but what was worst, that mistake escalated to the other mistakes that I made with Kotori... I really needed to apologize to her for what happened that time near the shoe lockers, but most of all... I needed to make sure to apologize for what happened at the cafe...

* * *

Finally it was the next day, and time for all of us to face the aftermath of the events that happened a few days ago, but most of all, it was the day I was going to apologize to Kotori.

Walking to school with Nozomi and Niko, along the way I saw Kotori talking with Honoka.

"Kotori..."

As they we're speaking, Honoka gazed at an A-Rise poster, since μ's was no longer in the school idol ranking charts, A-Rise took first place in the charts and took over all the posters and places where μ's once was.

"She's still brooding isn't she?"

Niko doing a small sigh of annoyance, I am then reminded by the conversation that Umi and Kotori had at the stairs that day.

"You need to tell Honoka about this right away."

I knew with all that happened, Kotori couldn't have the chance to tell Honoka what Umi said to tell her right away, so in my mind I said.

"My apology can hold off for now."

I knew I said that because I was being a fool and coward but... If Kotori really needs to tell Honoka something important... I can wait...

As soon as the rest of us arrived at school, and finished our first practice session in a while, we spoke about the future of our activities.

"So... What did the chairwoman say?"

Honoka sitting down beside Umi, stared at me with a curious expression, grabbing a bottle of water that Niko offers me. I do a small smile.

"She didn't mean we're no longer allowed to be school idols. She's okay with us continuing our activites."

"Really?!"

Honoka in a burst of excitement, showed gratefulness towards the chairwoman's decision. The others started pouring in.

"So we can do lives as well?"

Once I finished taking a small drink of the bottled water, I nod at Umi.

"Yeah."

Honoka and Umi in a burst of excitement held hands showing gratitude to all that was decided.

I was honestly happy too, sure I knew all of us wished that all which happened never did happen, we had to learn a lesson from all of it. This is true when it comes down to everything.

"When should we hold a live?!"

"Well, I'd love to do a few more before the new student applications are due, but we shouldn't go crazy with the performances."

Yes, even if our dream of competing in Love Live! was shattered, we can still achieve the dream of saving Otonokizaka. The very reason why all of us became school idols in the first place.

"Yeah, we should take it slow. Otherwise we might wear ourselves out."

Honoka then blurts out something that surprises us all.

"Honoka?"

"So, that accident is still on your mind, huh?"

We all knew Honoka was still devastated over all that happened ever since that stage mishap. Passing the bottle of water back to Niko, I was worried that she still blamed herself for all that happened.

"Well..."

"It's not like you to worry about that kind of thing."

Umi smiled at her best friend as Honoka scratched her head in modesty, all of us just hoped that Honoka learned from all that happened, but it seemed like she did, and there was no need for me to worry that she still felt guilty for what happened that day.

"I guess that means you're getting a sense of perspective."

"Perspective..."

Honoka made a small smile as she heard my words, I was simply trying to do what I do best, reassure others not to worry. That was one of the qualities I gained from striving to be a perfect role model.

"Huh? Where'd Kotori-chan go?"

A quality that I didn't need that would ruin my progress to become a perfect role model was foolishness, I didn't even notice Kotori wasn't among us as we spoke.

As Honoka asked that question, Umi made a small frown.

"She went downstairs to make a phone call."

I am then reminded of the day at the cafe, before Kotori was about to hand me the letter that she wanted to show me, her mother called her, so I was thinking that phone call was related to the issue that was troubling her all along.

"Kotori..."

Making a small frown upon whispering her name, I knew I had to stop being a fool and just apologize to her already, but knowing she didn't tell Honoka what Umi told her to tell Honoka yet, The coward I was used it as a method to avoid that.

Instantly Maki along with Hanayo and Rin barged through the door, exhausted.

"Wh-What's the matter?"

All of us surprised by their sudden emergence, the three exhausted 1st years started to speak.

"This..."

"This..."

"Th-This needs big help!"

Hanayo finishing the words of her friends with her famous catchphrase, we all then follow them to the school's hallway.

In usion all of us read the content of a letter on the poster wall,

"New Student Application Information for the Next Academic Year"..."

"Does this mean..."

In usion all of us turned to the 1st years with shocked expressions, Hanayo along with Maki explain to us the contents of the letter.

"They released survey results for which high schools middle schoolers are interested in!"

"Supposedly, far more students have expressed interest in ours compared to last year!"

From all that they explained, I knew that it meant the school would be saved from shutting down this year, in a burst of happiness all of us cheered to find out this revelation.

Among that happiness, Honoka runs down the hall with a cheerful expression, turning my gaze to the direction she ran, Honoka shouted out.

"Kotori-chan!"

In that moment I saw Kotori walk down the hall with a sad expression, probably I was the one out of all of us to see it, since the others were immersed in the happiness of finding out that the school was saved.

Kotori... Could this be related to the phone call she made? All I felt was a sharp pain in my chest along with rage. Because I knew that I could have prevented Kotori from being troubled all this time only if I'd have listened to her that day.

As Honoka cheerfully hugged Kotori, telling her all that happened, Kotori shared the happiness her best friend was feeling. I still couldn't shake off the guilt and anger I had towards myself though...

* * *

It was honestly a situation that I didn't want to be in this moment. Leaving the school with Honoka along with Kotori, my little sister Arisa who waited for me at the school gates was excited once she heard what happened.

"I'm so happy you guys did it!"

I knew Arisa wanted to attend Otonokizaka as soon as she graduated from middle school, so I was happy that my little sister could have one of her wishes come true.

Honestly her happiness was the thing that kept my mind off of Kotori in that moment, Honoka sharing a warm smile with Arisa, she then bowed before us saying,

"Please take care of me next year!"

Patting my little sister's head, I smile at her and tell her the most important thing to do for her to attend Otonokizaka next year.

"First for that to happen, you'll have to pass the entrance exam."

My little sister then nodded at me with a cheerful expression, after that she shared a warm conversation with Honoka, I then gazed at Kotori, who seemed like something was troubling her. All I could do was just be an idiot and remain silent.

"Hey, what are we doing about our next performance?"

Honoka finally asks the question that has been on all of our minds ever since finding out we can still continue being school idols.

"Good question. We aren't in a hurry to perform anymore."

"Yeah..."

As me and Honoka had that conversation I saw Kotori making a sad expression,

"Um... I have to buy something on my way home, so I gotta go."

"Huh? What are you gonna get?"

Kotori appeared a little hesitant to tell her true friend where she was going, I knew that this had to be related to the issue that has been troubling her all along, all I could hear in my head was,

"You idiot! Go talk to her already!"

As soon as Kotori turned down Honoka's offer to come with her, she started to leave by herself to go on her errand.

As soon as I saw her walk away with a sad expression after saying "Bye." To us, that was the final straw.

"Honoka, can you walk my little sister home?"

"Eh?"

I had enough of seeing Kotori like this, I had enough of being a fool, I needed to help Kotori, since I couldn't take the pain and anger I had for being such a fool for making her continue to feel this way.

"Onee-chan, are you going somewhere?"

My little sister Arisa a little surprised by my request, I pat her on the head with a smile,

"Yeah, I just need to take care of something important, so can you walk with Honoka today?"

"Sure!"

My little sister Arisa was actually a little thrilled to walk home with the leader of μ's but honestly it was true that I had something important to do... Something that I needed to take care of ages ago...

Leaving my little sister with Honoka, I ran after Kotori, finally I spotted her along the path.

"Kotori!"

Once Kotori heard me call out her name she turns around with a surprised expression,

"Eri-chan?..."

Approaching Kotori, I then give her a small smile,

"I decided to come along and help you out with the thing you needed to buy."

As soon as Kotori heard my words, her expression lit up with a smile,

"Sure, thank you Eri-chan!"

I knew all along that I was being a fool, this was the time for me to finally stop being one and help out my friend. Because I couldn't bear to see her like this anymore...

* * *

Me and Kotori reached down to the mall and were at a bag store.

"Hmm? Do you need to buy a new bag Kotori?"

A little confused to why we were here, I knew that Kotori's bag was fine in appearance. A little hesitant, Kotori answers my question.

"Kind of..."

I knew she was holding something back, this was related to the thing troubling her all along. but even so why did she agree with me coming along with her and turning down her true friend, Honoka's offer.

As we entered the bag store, Kotori and I went down to the section which had the bags people use when they go travelling.

"Kotori... Are you going somewhere?..."

"U-umm... No... My mom is..."

I could tell that Kotori was lying by the tone in her voice, but I didn't want to pressure her into telling me here.

As soon as Kotori bought the bag, it was evening, we walked down the path to the park and finally it was the time for me to stop being a fool.

"Kotori, I'm sorry..."

Bowing my head in apology before Kotori, she then gazes at me with a surprised expression.

"Eri-chan?..."

"I'm sorry for saying and doing all that I did that day at the shoe lockers, I wasn't angry at you, I was angry at myself..."

I tried my best to pour all my guilt into that apology but honestly I was afraid to apologize for many of the things I did. I knew Kotori was a kind warmhearted person but I did too many things that would make anybody stop being friends...

"Eri-chan, what do you mean-"

"I was angry for not listening to you at the cafe! I'm sorry that I threw you off and continued to make you suffer with the thing that has been troubling you all along but honestly... I thought I was unworthy to be the one to hear it from you."

I could feel tears about to form from my eyes, since honestly that is the reason why I didn't listen to Kotori when she was going to tell me what was troubling her that day.

I then felt a warm embrace around me as my head was bowed, feeling my body become hot and my cheeks flushed, I then feel Kotori shaking,

"I'm sorry... That I made you feel that way Eri-chan... I'm really sorry for doing that... I should have never thought of telling you in the first place..."

"Kotori?..."

In that moment I could feel my heart shatter, this was the worst outcome that I could have never expected to happen...

Kotori releasing her embrace, then runs away from me. Immediately I'm about to go run after her, but I then stop myself once I feel tears falling down from my face.

"Kotori... That wasn't what I meant..."

Trying to cover my face to make sure others didn't see my tears, I then feel a sharp pain in my chest and a dark thought emerging from my mind.

"Maybe we shouldn't have never gotten to know one another..."

In the moment that dark thought came out of my mouth, I then slap myself really hard gritting my teeth in pain and anger, I then grip my chest with the maelstrom of emotions that flowed through me.

"I'm so stupid..."

I never knew that I could be that stupid and have those thoughts in my mind, but what I didn't know that my whole stupidity would lead up to Kotori coming down to that conclusion. I wouldn't be surprised if the two of us stopped being friends after this but I had enough of this...

I needed to finally stop being a fool and help one of the most important people to me...

* * *

Today was the day that u's decided to hold out a celebration for saving the school, having a party, Niko was always just herself claiming that the school was saved thanks to her efforts to even bringing back school idols. It was kinda true, but she could never have accomplished it if Honoka convinced her to do that.

Sitting beside Nozomi, I glanced at Kotori who was sitting with Umi, both of them showing expressions that something was troubling them.

I knew Kotori was going to be troubled after everything that happened yesterday but Umi was troubled as well?...

I felt a little anxious that this may have been related to the issue that has been troubling Kotori all along and it was time for her to tell Honoka what she needed to tell her all along...

Among the cheerfulness of the others, as they enjoyed the party I could hear Umi speaking in a serious tone to Kotori.

"Kotori..."

"But now's not a good time..."

I could see Honoka glance at her two best friends, I knew that she finally noticed something was going on. Even I knew that something serious was going to happen.

When Umi and Kotori finished their conversation, Umi stands up with a serious expression on her face.

"Could I have everyone's attention? I need to tell you something."

"Eri-chi?..."

I didn't notice that my hands were shaking in fear, because I felt like that after what I saw as I went with Kotori to buy the thing she needed before going home yesterday, I knew that the revelation that Umi was about to tell would mean that I might never be able to see Kotori anymore...

Everyone giving their attention to Umi, she takes a deep breath in and finally speaks...

"Actually... I know this is unexpected, but Kotori will be going abroad to study."

In that moment I felt that everything around me froze. I felt like that I wasn't in the room anymore.

My worst fears finally came true... But what made it worst was the fact that the dark thoughts in my mind said,

"Even if you did listen to her that day, you couldn't have prevented this."

I wanted to shut all those thoughts up, but I couldn't because I knew it was true.

I could then feel Kotori gazing at me, as I returned back to reality and turned my gaze to hers, I then see her about to cry.

That image would be something that would haunt me for a long time, I just didn't know what to do. I didn't even feel time pass in that situation, all that I could see was that expression.

I could just hear muffled voices, the cries of Kotori apologizing for not telling all of us sooner was all that I could hear, finally I then ask her a question that came out of my mind among the torrent of emotions that I felt.

"You're not coming back once you leave, are you?"

I could almost hear Kotori cry as soon as I asked her that question, holding back those tears she answers,

"Probably not until I graduate from high school."

This was it, my heart shattered, I could feel like I was gonna break down in that moment, but I needed to pull myself together since I bet the others are also shocked by this revelation. But all that filled my mind was the memory of that day, when I made one simple clumsy mistake that would shatter the image of a perfect role model that everybody has had of me, and that it lead up to the moment me and Kotori decided to learn more about one another. All I can hear was.

"I should have never made that mistake... Maybe I wouldn't have felt like this if I never knew Kotori..."

The muffled cries of Kotori apologizing to her true friend Honoka, for not telling her about this sooner since she wanted to consider the school festival, Honoka in tears of anger cries about how they've been together all this time and hearing this revelation may finally separate the two forever. Kotori in a burst of tears tells Honoka that she wanted to tell her all along since she was her most important friend.

Getting up from her seat in a burst of sorrow, Kotori runs out of the room, as soon as saw the sight of her tearful face, I was brought back from my shock and ran up to the door, just gazing at Kotori while she ran in a burst of tears out of the room.

"Kotori..."

I could feel my heart being immersed in a great pain, I felt like in that moment I needed to run after her but after all that happened I just froze...

Amidst the aftermath of what just happened, I can feel that everyone in this room was shocked and sad to find out Kotori was going to leave... So I needed to straighten myself up, since being a perfect role model in everyone eyes, I couldn't let my emotions get the better of me I just couldn't...

"I'm sorry, Kotori..."

Those were the words I whispered hoping that they would reach her, but I knew that after this... I was never going to see her again...

* * *

All of us after those events returned back home.

As soon as I entered my room, I could feel the great pain that I felt in that moment Kotori revealed she was going to leave Japan to study aboard.

It hurt so much that I cried, and fell to the floor of my room.

I realized though that my little sister, Arisa was in the room next door so I held my hand over my mouth to make sure she wouldn't hear me cry but most of all... Being pathetic...


	6. беспримесный

Unalloyed... In terms of metal it means "not alloyed; pure." Unalloyed can also mean a "chiefly of emotions, complete and unreserved"... So in terms of emotions how would one feel if they felt an unalloyed love for another?...

Does it mean that the love for the other is pure, complete and perfect? How would one even gain a unalloyed love for another?...

That is something that I never would have thought of in my life, being in love with someone but especially having an unalloyed love for that person...

All that I knew about unalloyed love, was that many religous people had it for God, but having it for a person?...

I didn't even know how it felt to be in love, I never even thought of love in all my life. That is until now...

"Eri-chan? Why aren't you out with celebrating with the others?"

As I gazed at the stage that you could say brought upon the rebirth of μ's , I then hear the voice, the voice of the one I thought I would never be able to hear again.

"Nah, I kinda felt a little sympathy towards you. Since knowing that you suddenly decided to stay, you have a lot of unpacking to do, right?"

Kotori then glanced at the traveling bag that was behind her, doing a small laugh which showed the stress she had from all the actions she did today, she turned to me making a curious expression,

"Are you sure that you'd rather help me then go to the party? Since I'm pretty sure-"

Grabbing Kotori's traveling bag and moving towards the exit of the auditorium, I then do a small smile at her,

"I think we made a promise to help one another whenever we needed it, right?"

As soon as I finished my sentence I then saw Kotori's expression lit up, making the cheerful "pure" smile she always did, we then leave the auditorium.

I was certain a few days ago that my relationship with Kotori was over for good, and that I was never going to see her again but...

* * *

"Do you think Honoka-chan will be able to bring back Kotori-chan before we go on stage?..."

"They will. No matter what."

Umi showed an expression brimming with confidence towards her true friend, Honoka. Just knowing that she'll be able to bring back Kotori from the airport.

After being left in a broken state the day Kotori revealed she was going to leave Japan to study for a fashion program, I knew I was never going to see her again, so being a human being and wanting to forget the great pain that it brought me, I tried my best to believe that time would heal my wounds but I knew...

I was still being a fool...

The aftermath of Kotori's revelation lead to Honoka deciding that she wanted to quit μ's, in a last effort to save what we had left of μ's, we decided to put ourselves on hiatus. Niko decided to carry on her activities as a school idol with Hanayo and Rin, while the rest of us continued on with our separate paths.

* * *

"I wonder if this is for the best..."

Nozomi gazed out of the student council room's window with a sad expression.

Organizing papers for the student council, I then sigh with a smile,

"You're the one who said it wouldn't be u's without all nine members right, Nozomi?"

"I know but..."

Nozomi didn't feel any better from my words, I knew all of us were shocked by the aftermath of all of the events that happened yesterday, after Honoka said she wanted to quit being a school idol...

I could understand why though... Having to be separated from her true friend, Kotori, I think she didn't want to continue on with her activities as a school idol without her since... Along with Umi and her, Honoka created μ's...

I felt the same though... I knew that I couldn't rid of all the pain that was in my heart when I remembered Kotori's tearful expression when she revealed that she was going to leave Japan to study aboard for a fashion program.

Her tearful expression truly did haunt me every night ever since that day. I so wanted to forget it but... What could I do? Was there even a chance for me to stop Kotori from leaving if she told me all of this before hand?... Even if she did, I was just a friend to her... We had nothing special, so there was no way I could stop her from leaving but even so...

"I should have gone after her that day..."

"Eri-chi?..."

I spoke these words with great regret, simply staring at the sheets of paper in my hand, I knew that even if I couldn't stop her from leaving...

"I could have said sorry..."

I literally felt like I was going to cry in that moment, but knowing that Nozomi was with me, I held those tears in.

I still could have apologized to Kotori the day she ran off after we had that conversation near the park after buying her a traveling bag.

I knew that I could have ran after her and tell her "I'm sorry Kotori! You misunderstood me! Please forgive me for adding more problems to the issue you are already dealing with."

I just didn't know why she misunderstood my words... Was Kotori hurt when I told her I was unworthy to hear about her issue?... Or was she simply hurt by all the things I did to her and never wanted to see me again?...

I then felt Nozomi embracing me from behind,

"Nozomi?..."

"Eri-chi, you didn't clear the air between you and Kotori did you?..."

As soon as Nozomi spoke those words, the tears I were trying so hard to hold back started falling from my eyes.

"I-I... I only made it worse... Now I'll never have the chance to tell Kotori that she misunderstood me... And tell her that I was sorry for hurting her..."

Clenching my fists in anger while my body shaked as I felt all the maelstrom of emotions that flowed through me I could just feel Nozomi's embrace become stronger,

"Oh, Eri-chi..."

I knew that all that Nozomi could do in that moment was comfort my pathetic self. I never wanted her or anybody else to see me like this but all the emotions I held ever since that day broke me down... I cried out all my sorrow and regret as Nozomi tightly embraced me...

* * *

"Eri-chi you look really eager to see if Honoka brings back Kotori-chan~"

Nozomi in a teasing tone, then does a small giggle.

"N-no I'm not! It's just..."

Finally giving up my futile denial, I then sigh with a small smile.

"Yes I am, I know it may say weird to say this, but out of all of us, I think I'm the one who will be the happiest if Kotori goes through those doors."

It was not too long ago that thanks to the efforts of some of Honoka's classmates and Umi, she finally woke up and decided to do what she needed to do all along, stop Kotori from leaving.

Honestly I had mixed emotions towards the event if Honoka was able to bring back Kotori, since I knew that if she did return, she actually wanted to stay but at what price? Simply to throw off a chance at her dream of becoming a fashion designer for everybody's feelings?...

"Nozomi, I don't know what to think or do... If she really does come through those doors, I don't know what I should do..."

Since I knew that the air between me and Kotori hasn't been cleared, and I was afraid that even if I did attempt to renew our relationship... She wouldn't forgive me for all the things I did to her...

"Eri-chi..."

I didn't know that my hands were shaking in fear, I honestly didn't know what to do or how to feel. I did say that I would be happy if she did decide to stay but I knew that I would afraid.

Feeling Nozomi hold one of my hands to calm me down, I then see her making a small smile,

"Eri-chi, Only you know what it is you want do with Kotori, so if she passes through those doors. You should do what you've always wanted to do."

"What I've always wanted to do?..."

Once again I was being a fool, I should have known the meaning of Nozomi's words but... I just didn't know what she meant when she said, "What I've always wanted to do." What is it that I've always wanted to do with Kotori? Apologize for all the stupid choices I made and clear the air around us or could it be something more?...

As I pondered over the meaning of Nozomi's words, Honoka then barges through the door landing on her bottom.

"Ow!"

"Honoka?!"

Me along with Umi run up to our leader to help her up, but as soon as I turned my gaze up...

"Hey everyone... Sorry for making you wait!"

My eyes then saw the sight of someone who I thought I would never see again, someone who I never thought that I could speak to again...

In that moment the torrent of emotions in my heart just became one simple emotion...

"Kotori!"

Joy. With a joyful smile, I greeted the one person who I never thought I would see again. The person that would finally make me understand and finally attempt to do, "What I've always wanted to do"...

* * *

"Eri-chan, you seem really happy for some reason, did something good happen?"

As we walked down the road that led to Kotori's home so that we can unpack all her things, I then feel my cheeks flush as soon as Kotori noticed the expression I was making,

"A-ah yeah you could say that..."

"Mmm, you mean with μ's re-live? Yeah, I feel really happy too after performing with everybody else!"

Kotori in a cheerful expression, completely oblivious to what I meant. I then turn my face away from her gaze making a small frown.

Is she angry with me?... Even if she was, she wouldn't have agreed with my whole request of helping her unpack since I'm pretty sure out of all the people that could help her, I would be the last one on the list...

I had no time for being a fool though, I really needed my thoughts to shut up since I wanted to find out what Nozomi meant when she said, "You should do what you've always wanted to do."

Tightly gripping the hand that held the handle to Kotori's traveling bag, I knew to first finding the meaning of Nozomi's words, I needed to clear the air around me and Kotori...

I'm just hoping she feels the same way, since I wouldn't be too surprised if she says she never wants to be friends again after all the things I did to her...

"And could have done for her..."

Whispering those words, to make sure Kotori wouldn't hear them. I knew that even if I couldn't have prevented Kotori from going aboard, I could've still taken off the weight she had on her shoulders, rather then add to it with the stupid mistakes I made...

Stopping myself along the path I then turn to a surprised Kotori,

"Eri-chan?..."

I knew Kotori would've been really uncomfortable in this situation, but knowing how much of a kind person she was, she would have placed the feelings of that person rather then hers first and would listen to their request...

"Kotori... I really need to clear the air between us before we move on..."

First before moving on, I needed to clear the air between us. I knew that if she gave me the answer of never wanting to see me, I would accept it, since it would be the consequence for all the stupid mistakes I made...

In that moment I could feel my whole body shaking with fear, I really needed to stop being pathetic when I'm around Kotori since... She's the only one I know most of all who I wouldn't want to see me like this.

Kotori then approaches me and takes my hands,

"Eri-chan, you don't need to do this if you don't want to... I'm totally fine with that..."

"I'M NOT!"

In that moment I released a voice loud enough to shatter the image of the perfect role model that everyone has had of me so far. My voice was so loud, that I knew that it was the tone you would use only for someone you cared about a lot, and I knew that I cared for Kotori and I couldn't bear having our relationship like this anymore...

If I have the chance to fix everything, I need to do it now that I have a second chance!

"I had enough of making you feel like this Kotori! I just can't live with the fact that I hurt one of my most important friends like this! With all that I did, I'm so angry that I knew that I could have prevented all of this..."

"Eri-chan..."

As I spoke those words, tears of frustration fell from my eyes. My whole body was shaking, shaking from the fear of Kotori suddenly deciding she never wanted to see me anymore, that my apology isn't enough to make up for all the unnecessary pain I made her feel...

"I'm sorry too!"

"Kotori?!"

Before my eyes, I saw Kotori bowing on her knees in apology shaking, I saw tears fall on the sidewalk as she bowed her head.

"I'm really sorry Eri-chan... I knew I misunderstood you that day but it just hurt... To think you didn't consider yourself worthy enough to hear my issue, I just... You were worthy Eri-chan! Since you're one of my most important friends!"

Immediately I embraced Kotori, making sure that her head was no longer bowed on the cold cement of the side walk and now on my shoulder,

"You really think that Kotori?..."

"I do! Eri-chan, just because we're not childhood friends like how Honoka-chan and Umi-chan are with me, doesn't mean that you're not as important to me!"

"Kotori..."

As Kotori continued to cry on my shoulder, I just felt all the pain and anger in my heart ever since making those stupid mistakes being replaced with the emotion of joy and another emotion that I never knew that I would feel for a long time... Love...

* * *

Kotori and I, still a little teary eyed from that very dramatic and embarrassing conversation, we knew that we couldn't just stand in the middle of the day on the sidewalk like that, many others would think something was wrong so the two of us decided to finally head to Kotori's house, so that I can help her unpack.

"Eri-chan... So... We're still friends right?..."

As we were about to approach Kotori's house, she suddenly stops to ask me this question, an obvious one at that, since we couldn't finish the rest of the conversation we had back there... But it was about time for me to stop being an idiot and give her the answer in a way I always would with her...

"Obviously we still are! I wouldn't be surprised if we became more than friends after that!"

As soon as I said those words, Kotori's face became red as a beet.

I was confused to why though, what I meant by that I wouldn't be surprised if we became closer friends or best friends after all of that- Ah...

In that moment, I finally realized why Kotori became embarrassed, becoming embarrassed myself and sharing the same beet red she had on her face, I then hear Kotori giggling.

"You're still the "Cute and Clever Erichika" like I remember, huh Eri-chan?"

I knew Kotori was teasing me when she said that, but honestly hearing her giggle and she saying that she remembered that I was the same person I always was. I just smiled and really felt happy in that moment.

* * *

"Where do you want me to put this?"

"Mmm... I'll start unpacking later, so just put the bag near my closet for now."

When finally arrived at Kotori's house, being in her room now so that I can help her unpack, I felt a little uneasy to be honest... Since Kotori's mother wasn't here and the two of us were alone in her room I could just feel the new emotion I gained towards Kotori making my heart beat really fast...

Placing the traveling bag near Kotori's closet, still a little nervous I then look around her room so that I wouldn't create an awkward atmosphere, since I knew that Kotori was also feeling a little uneasy from the way she was fidgeting with her fingers.

I then find an object of conversation in her room,

"Hey isn't that the pillow you carry around sometimes?..."

"Ah, you mean pillow-tan?"

Kotori then grabs her most treasured pillow as she shows it to me while snuggling it with a cheerful expression,

"Yeah!"

I saw how much Kotori treasured that pillow as she snuggled with it, I knew that the question I was going to ask would create a awkward atmosphere but...

"Were you planning to take it with you?"

Kotori then gazed at her precious pillow with a sad expression, I knew I was going to make an awkward atmosphere if I asked that question but... I just needed to know.

"I was thinking about leaving it behind so that my mom would have a keepsake to remember me, sure we would call one another on the phone but... I just wanted to make sure my mom wasn't lonely while I was gone..."

Kotori was always the type of person to put the feelings of others in front of hers, but I actually wondered if Kotori also decided to stay because she didn't want to make her mother feel lonely... Even if the chairwoman was a strong woman, I think it would have been hard for her to see her only daughter go somewhere so far away...

"Umm Eri-chan... I'm going to go grab us something to drink so can you wait here?"

With an awkward expression, Kotori stood up and headed to the door of her room, I then nod at her with a small smile,

"Sure, thank you Kotori."

Kotori then left her room to her kitchen downstairs to go grab us something to drink.

"I knew that question would make her feel awkward... I'm such a idiot..."

I don't even know why I asked that question in the first place. Did I just want to know if Kotori would have been able to leave something so important to her behind so that she wouldn't make her mother sad?... Or was that question for completely something else?...

I then glanced at Kotori's precious pillow and grab it from her bed, embracing it since it felt really comfy, I then closed my eyes and thought,

"Would she have left this behind for me if I never complicated our relationship?..."

In that moment, I could smell Kotori's scent. The pillow had the scent of strawberries, probably from the shampoo she used, but like Kotori it smelt as sweet as she was.

I had many emotions flow through me as I immersed myself in Kotori's scent, I knew that this was actually really something perverted and if Kotori saw me doing this it could make our relationship really awkward, but I don't know why...

"I really love this smell..."

"Hey, Eri-chan I brought drinks!"

As soon as I heard Kotori open the door, In a burst I threw her pillow to the side and regained my posture trying my best to not show a guilty expression for the perverted thing I just did.

"Hmm, is something wrong Eri-chan?"

"N-nothing at all..."

Trying to deny the truth with a small chuckle, Kotori just does a small smile and places a bright yellow glass coffee cup in front of me.

Quickly grabbing the cup and drinking the contents, as soon as my tongue tasted the liquid I made a small smile,

"Hot coco..."

"Yeah! I remembered that you told me your favorite food was chocolate, so I made hot coco!"

Kotori... She remembered...

In that moment, I wasn't sure if the hot chocolate was the reason why my body was feeling hot, but I knew as soon as I gazed at Kotori smiling at me while I enjoyed the hot coco...

The new found emotion that I had for Kotori started pouring out of my heart...

"Eri-chan, I left some cookies in the oven, so I'm gonna go see if they're ready now!"

As soon as Kotori got up to go and check on the cookies she was making, I grabbed her arm,

"Eri-chan?..."

I knew that I was going to do something stupid, something that could ruin our just repaired friendship...

"Kotori, can we talk first?"

Kotori gazed at my eyes, I didn't know what expression I was making in that moment but I knew it might have been a really serious one to she her cheeks so flushed...

"Okay..."

Kotori still with flushed cheeks nods and sits back down on her bedroom floor in front of me.

Sure I was scared if Kotori didn't feel the same way for the emotions I were going to express to her, but in that moment I finally understood what Nozomi meant when she said to me,

"Only you know what it is you want do with Kotori, so if she passes through those doors. You should do what you've always wanted to do."

I finally knew what I've always wanted to do with Kotori, but first I needed to clarify some things before I spoke my selfish foolish feelings that might destroy our reformed friendship...

Kotori and me then sat in her room in an awkward silence, Kotori tried her best to avoid my gaze since I knew she was really anxious to the reason why I was being so serious,when I wanted to speak with her.

"Kotori... I want you to know I'm really happy you decided to stay but, how do you feel?"

"Eh?..."

I finally decided to break the silence with the question that I had for Kotori which would clarify some of the mixed emotions I had for her deciding to stay in Japan and turning down the offer to study aboard for that fashion program.

I knew that Kotori was happy to stay, since it made the ones she cared about happy, but is she really happy? Can the happiness of others suffice enough for the fact she turned down such a big offer that would be important to accomplishing her dream?...

It angered me to know that no one took this into accord, sure everyone would be happy that Kotori stayed and μ's wouldn't have to disband but at what cost?... For Kotori turning down a big chance to achieving her dreams?...

"Kotori... Be serious with me, even though everyone is happy that you stayed how do you feel about missing that big opportunity for your fashion dream?"

"I..."

I knew it was selfish of me to ask her this, since I wasn't her. I didn't know how it felt like in that moment to either tell Honoka she was staying or leaving for the fashion program... I knew she wanted to stay but I also knew... She wanted to go after all...

"I know it's selfish and stupid of me to ask this, but no one's really ever pay attention or asked about your personal feelings Kotori, and I know that the feelings of others matter more than yours to you, but... Kotori I'm here to listen to your feelings today..."

I tried my best to meet eye contact with Kotori in that moment, I knew Kotori was the type of person to feel awkward speaking about her own feelings but... I cared about her feelings, I wanted Kotori to be happy after all the pain I caused her to suffer with.

You could say this was a pathetic way of me clearing a guilty conscious but I really did want Kotori to be happy, since rather than seeing her frown I rather see her make the warm "pure" smile she always had everyday.

Kotori then in a final attempt to avoid my gaze, looked down to her bedroom floor.

"Why?..."

"Because I care about you, and I only want to see you happy."

I knew it was really embarrassing to proclaim those feelings I had in front of Kotori, but it was true, well I actually wanted to tell her more of these just emerged selfish feelings that I had for her, but for now I needed to know how she felt.

Kotori grabbed her precious pillow and covered her face, I saw her shaking and heard her start to cry under it,

""W-why are you asking about my feelings?... Shouldn't me be staying behind been the right choice?... So why?..."

I then walk up to the tearful Kotori, embracing her with all the selfish feelings I had,

"I might have been the happiest one that moment I saw you go through those doors... But I felt afraid that maybe... You stayed behind because you just wanted to make sure no one felt sad..."

I could still feel Kotori shaking and crying underneath her pillow, making my embrace stronger I then smile,

"I just want to tell you one thing though... From the decision of staying behind you may have to face the fact you missed a big opportunity for your fashion dream but... You can face the fact that you and I can continue learning more about one another..."

I can then feel as soon as I finished those words, Kotori stopped shaking and crying.

Yes that was the very reason why the two of us became friends in the first place. Since after making one clumsy mistake that led up to the event where I wanted to learn more about Kotori, the both of us had so many ups and downs that some people would have been surprised that the two of us would still be friends... But the reason why I wanted to continue being with Kotori was because... I love her.

Kotori then tightly gripped the back of my shirt, she started crying again,

"I-I'm sorry for making you feel that way Eri-chan, I just-"

"Don't blame yourself, it's also my fault for being stupid and selfish to suddenly speak these feelings to you..."

"No it's not..."

"Kotori?..."

Kotori then finally emerged her face from the comfert of her precious pillow and gazed at me with a tearful expression,

"I decided to stay because... I wanted to be with you more too..."

"Kotori..."

Embracing Kotori again, and letting her cry on my shoulder. I honestly didn't mind if she didn't love me... Since just hearing the reason why she stayed was because she wanted to spend more time with me... It made me so happy that I just wanted to stay in this moment...

"Eri-chan, I love you..."

In that heartfelt moment, I heard Kotori whisper the words I never thought I would hear from her in my ear... I simply just froze in that moment, I felt like my heart stopped because of how fast it was beating, I could almost feel like my body was covered all in sweat from how hot my body was...

"Do you feel the same way?..."

Hearing Kotori ask that with a eager tone in her voice, I simply tried my best to answer her but...

"Uh... Uh.. I-I..."

Here we go again, failing to be the perfect role model that I always striven for, honestly I wanted to cry because how embarrassed I was, because I couldn't voice the feelings that I have been feeling for Kotori all this time...

Amidst my small dilemma, I then hear Kotori giggle, approaching her chest to mine, she then smiles at me.

"Come on Eri-chan, your heart is already telling me how you feel."

All I could do was scream in extreme embarrassment in my head from all the daring actions Kotori did. But she was right... My heart already had the answer to her question...

"I love you Kotori... Ever since we decided to learn more about one another and till this moment..."

I felt like my heart yearned for this moment to become eternal, since finding out the one you love, loved you as well... It's just a moment that many would write novels about to simply just explain the emotions they felt in a moment like this...

I then see Kotori covering her face with her precious pillow again.

Oh no... Did I make her cry?! Agh! Here we go again! I might have done something stupid to hurt her!

"Eri-chan don't say such embarrassing stuff!"

What?...

In that moment all my worry just became pure confusion.

Honestly I was confused but also really intrigued by the cuteness of Kotori's actions, I actually wanted to say to her, "You started it first!", but I had something better.

"Kotori, can you pass me your pillow for a second?"

Clueless about the thing I was going to do next, Kotori nods and passes me her pillow.

I then took that chance to place my lips upon Kotori's faint rose lips, the moment I kissed her, I tasted the flavor of strawberry cheesecake...

I knew Kotori would be surprised by my sudden kiss but I then feel her body and lips give into the moment...

I never knew what it meant to be in "love", nor did I ever expect to fall in "love" with a person that I just became friends with not too long ago...

Unalloyed love, a love that I never will understand the true meaning of, but all I knew that it meant... It was a pure love, and I knew that me and Kotori had a pure love towards one another.

So finally after making many mistakes and finally living up to the consequences of my mistakes I still knew...

Because of the one simple clumsy mistake that I made of leaving my school bag after μ's had a meeting in the club room... It was the birth of the "Unalloyed Romance" that me and Kotori have finally completed in this heartfelt moment...


End file.
